My shoulders feel hollow and my head feels like it weighs a few tons. I was taking a shower when it hit me. My vision went blurry sporadically, with the occasional bout of tunnel vision. I think I hit my head on the shower wall. My eyes were stinging and I had to close them repeatedly, but it didn’t help much. I was getting dizzy, so I sat down for I don’t know how long. When I got out of the shower I came back to my room and signed online while I was brushing my hair. My eyes began to pound, my forehead was aching… My hair finally brushed I went back into the bathroom, but I almost ran into the door because the tunnel vision came on so quickly. Everything was dark for a minute as I felt my way into the bathroom. When my vision cleared I looked at myself in the mirror; my face was a sickly shade of white, all pink skintones had left my face. I grasped the counter as my limbs became weak again, inviting me to fall to the floor. I got my hair done as quickly as possible, brushed my teeth, and now I’m back here, sitting on my bedroom floor, afraid to fall asleep. My brow feels heavy, and something’s very hot inside my chest. My spine aches, and my hands feel shakey. When I stop typing and I actually look at them, I can see them vibrate. My eyes are stinging again, and my stomach won’t stop churning. I’m afraid to go to sleep because the last time I felt like this I was woken up by a jolt running through my legs. My heart was pounding, my lungs were rising and falling rapidly. I had a stange dream that night, but I can’t remember what it was.
Now I remember why I’m not going to college this year. I was fine for a while, it hit me so fast just now. I wonder what it is.
My mom was supposed to come home tonight from her visit in Tucson. Her flight got delayed, though, and she’s stuck in Minneapolis.
I’ve got too much mail piled up. 72 bits of it. I’m sorry if you’ve emailed me and I haven’t responded. If I’m feeling better tomorrow I’ll try to work my way through it.