Mmmm. Movie. I woke up this morning intent on trying to make it to the movie theatre for opening day of Lord of the Rings, but I was also very careful not to nag my Mother about it. So I went downstairs, sat at the table very pleasantly where my mother was, and struck up a lovely little chit-chat. I didn’t even mention the movie, but apparently she could see me struggling with it. So she asked if I still wanted to go, and of course, how could I say no? I thought Steven was going to come with me, but he wasn’t feeling up to it. I went by myself and was completely fine with it. I ended up sitting next to a very nice Uber-fan and had a great time talking a bit before the movie, and then making fun of the incredibly cheesy previews. The one preview that had nearly everyone laughing was ‘The Core.’ How can movies like that take themselves seriously? Basically, the plot is that the US military is developing this big secret weapon that will enact gigantic earthquakes in targetted enemy territory. But, as we all know, the military is staffed by entirely stupid, brainless, and heartless men who put no scientific thought into their actions. (Excuse me while I roll my eyes.) Naturally, since the military is so stupid, their big secret project goes wrong and the core of the planet quits rotating. MmmHmm. That’s Big Warning Sign number two. This, for some reason, causes the atmosphere to collapse and brings radioactive storms to the planet surface, leaving an absolute mess wherever it decides to strike. (And, of course, all natural disasters directly target landmarks in major metropolitan areas. Those stupid red radiation bolts only hit things directly, like the Golden Gate Bridge, the Coliseum, etc. Never the park right next to it, never some field in the middle of nowhere.)
What do we do to fix this horrific problem? A Gap Model somehow ends up in the super-hi-tech-designed military headquarters to tell us he can fix it, utilizing only khakis, swing dancers, and new stripes. Oh, and a gigantic nuclear bomb? The plan is to send this male Gap Model, a female super model, and a black dude into the core, riding astride said nuclear bomb. They then ignite it, and try to “out-run the biggest explosion ever.” First off, those stripes are ridiculous, and the swing dancers are pass