Well, who knew. I tried to publish that blog about two weeks ago and it never worked. Oops.
Anyway. To what I was going to say. I need to vent, so if you don’t feel like listening to shocked, angry, upset things, then you can just skip today’s blog. How much does life suck right now? A whole lot, that’s how much. I was right. Yet again, I was right. What’s the same old theory? One health problem starts to resolve itself, and then bam, a whole new one. This time, it’s not just one. Oooh no, that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? That wouldn’t be odd enough. Nope, instead I have two new things to deal with that I really don’t want. I don’t want to handle it, I’m tired of the pain, I am SO sick of being sick. I can’t take it.
I need a break. I need to run far far away from my own body and just leave it alone to rot and decay, just like it’s already doing.
So here’s the story. I’ve been having back aches for the past few months, but I figured it was just stress. So I went to see my masseuse – Nancy – a few more times than I normally would. I went about two weeks ago and Nancy got concerned. She said that she thought she could feel a slight curve in my upper spine, in between my shoulder blades. Then she said it was probably nothing to worry about, that it may have just been “the way God made” me, but I should get it checked out anyway just in case.
I didn’t jump on that right away because things were going on, it didn’t hurt that bad, so I didn’t think it was urgent. But over the last few days my back has been hurting worse and worse, until finally last night it was so bad I couldn’t lift my arms any higher than my shoulders. And, to top it all off, as I was trying to feel around to see which muscles were hurting, I found a lump that I thought was just a big knot in my back.
Off to the doctor I went, at 2:00 in the afternoon. The doctor I saw was very nice, the best I’ve had in a long while. She spent over an hour talking to me, figuring things out. Turns out I have scoliosis in two parts of my back. No clue where exactly it came from all of a sudden, because I know I’ve been checked for it before. Nancy was right; one of the places is precisely between my shoulder blades and up into my neck. Secondly, in my lower back. Fun. I have several more weeks ahead of me of x-rays, tests, and then, months of physical therapy. Just what I needed right now, now that I have so many other things going so well.
But that’s not the best part. That knot I found isn’t a knot. It’s a tumor. Fabulous, isn’t it? I’ve got a tumor that they *think* is benign. Woohoo! Just what I always wanted. I have an appointment with the General Surgery clinic on Monday to have them run all sorts of yummy tests and figure out exactly what it is. One way or another, whatever it is, it’ll have to be removed. More surgery. I’m thrilled.
I really need a break now. I can’t take this. I need something to go right because I hate being right when it comes to this. Finally the ulcerative colitis turned out to be something else, something less serious, something that’s potentially manageable (even though the first round of medications turned out to be killing my eyes, but still). One thing clears up and I’m hit with something else. If this pattern’s going to continue I wish I could just go ahead and catch that strange, obscure, no-idea-how-I-got-it tropical disease so we can just skip all the pain in between.
Okay. Rant done. For now.