Gagh, I’m miserable. I was up ’till 4:30 last night, then couldn’t wake up at all at 10:00am. Once I did get myself out of bed, I felt really heavy and dizzy again, just like I did the day I passed out. I told Mom and she let me go back to bed, where I continued to sleep until 6:30pm. That’s 15 hours of sleep. And I’m still exhausted, in that bad, sick way. I’ve been dizzy, ill, incoherent, and sick to my stomach all day. Why can’t I shake this thing? And what *is* this thing? I’m really tired of it.
I hate being sick and mad at certain people all at the same time. I also hate being bored and feeling ineffectual. I’m tired of laying around, I want to go out and DO something. And, most of all, I want my brain to work.
*Sigh*. I watched ‘Spirited Away’ tonight. Maybe it was just me, but that movie really stunk. It made sense what was going on, but they never explained why. There was no underlying purpose to everyone’s actions, things just happened. The plot went along from one disconnected moment to the next. And, of course, everything was solved by love. Naturally, this love had no development, it just happened also.
Not to mention, there were lots of really gross things, too. Like a monster who started throwing up after Chihiro (the main character) gives the monster some mysterious gray sphere of medicine she got from yet another disgusting monster. Um, what? Things just moved along with no specific purpose, there was no character development whatsoever, and it was just all around weird. It seems more like the writer was on a bad trip rather than trying to tell a story.
At least it helped with one thing: I’ve finally figured out why Anime bothers me. The backgrounds are typically gorgeous, incredibly well drawn or painted or computer generated. It was that way in Princess Mononoke and in Spirited Away. There were moments where the backgrounds were simply phenomenal. Amazing artistic expression. And then the people. They look awful. I don’t mean the style, if that’s their style, that’s fine. But they’re so simplistic, and when put into that amazing and artistically created world they’ve created in the backgrounds, it just looks off. So off that it really bothers me. The two styles are so different that they don’t mesh, and that’s bothersome to the eye. It’s an improper juxtaposition. The animated world is detailed, and yet the characters’ faces don’t move when they talk. There’s so much expression in the background, that the lack of expressions in the characters distracts from the purpose of the stories. It distracts from the art.
That’s why I don’t get anime. That’s why I’m not enthralled with it. When the people are drawn with the same care as the background, or at least drawn in the same style, then I’ll get into it. I can handle the symbolism and mythology, that’s interesting (that is, if it has development and background…) but the style really irks me.
You know what else stinks about sleeping for 15 hours? I had the world’s best dream, and I didn’t want to wake up. It kept continuing wherever it left off, after Mom would wake me up to make sure I hadn’t passed out. *Sigh* …he was so cute… and nice… and perfect… and *sigh*. Men should really be like that. I think his name was Matthew in my dream. He was pretty tall, good looking in that man-next-door kind of way, and just nice. It wasn’t so much his appearance that made him cute, it was the way that he behaved. Just good, wholesome, and nice. And selfless. That’s so important. Someone once told me they loved me because I was so loving. That’s all I want. Someone else like that. Someone intelligent, yet not haughty. Someone who uses their knowledge for selfless things.
You know what’s sad? There was a man like that in England. He was the perfect image of my dream man. And he’s married. And 30-something. But he was perfect. It was so amazing to watch him with his wife and his children. In a professional environment, yet still openly affectionate and loving toward his two young children. So confident in himself that he could be himself completely in a variety of situations. I met his parents at the awards ceremony I went to, and I was so tempted to ask them if he had a younger brother, or how they raised him, or where they bought him so I could have one too. Hehe, it was really rather funny. I could spot his parents from across the room without even knowing they were going to be there. Of course, it did help that they were all so little… 🙂 I’m really grateful for having met him, and I’m really happy for him and his family that they’re so successful. He’s a good example of what I hope to find.
Ha, I’m babbling. I think because I haven’t been able to talk too well today, and all of these thoughts have been swimming around like mad. I couldn’t really say them since I was mumbling and slurring so much. It’s nice to get them all out by typing. I’ve been thinking about certain things a lot lately, almost to the point where it feels better having gotten some of them out. Now maybe they can quit clogging up my much-needed brain space. 🙂
I wish I could go take a shower, but I think that’s a bad idea. Until I’m feeling better, I’m going to stay away from the bathroom until someone else is awake to wait outside the door, just in case. I wish I had brought my Dad’s Star Trek DVDs upstairs. I’m in that kind of mood. I just need something familiar, something I can watch without having to get mad at it. Maybe I’ll watch ‘Pete & Pete’, since I actually have that upstairs, and I never get mad at that show.