If any company wants to stay ahead in this ever-changing global market, it’s important to analyze and follow the trends that constantly sweep our business landscape. Despite the fact that most trends are politicized out the wazoo, it’s imperative that you study those popular tactics and see what will ultimately help your business increase productivity, aid integration and synergizing techniques, and further develop your corporate ability to think outside the box.

    Since time is money, life is business, dogs eat dogs, and badgers file kiwis (these new-fangled buzzwords make no sense…), I figured I’d better adopt similar trend monitoring tactics into my daily life. One popular business trend is to outsource various company activities to foreign countries. I’ve decided to do the same. Like so many tech companies who outsource programming, like so many customer service agencies which are now based in far away lands, I too have decided to outsource. I’m not talking about programming or answering simple customer queries, ooh no. I’ve come up with something far, far better than that!

    I’m outsourcing my friends! Never mind the political ramifications, I’m saving a bundle on wages and benefits! With each new Indian friend I acquire, productivity rates double! Now all I need to do is learn to speak Marathi and Hindi, and I’ll be all set for globalized friendship in the 21st century! Of course, I have no idea what my friendship is producing, let alone why it’s doubling or why there are wages involved, but I sure am having fun with it.

    I do hope you realize how much I’m kidding… See, I met up with my friend Jay last night and I realized how many of my friends are from overseas, India in particular. After several scoops of Ben & Jerry’s this all seemed terribly funny. 🙂 Now let’s all have a good laugh and avoid any political debates that may crop up… Hehe.

    In other news I’m happy to report that I have a great new lead on a surgeon, but I don’t want to jinx it, so I’ll save those explanations for later. Also, a good friend of mine is flying up soon for a visit, which promises to be fun and exciting and all that good stuff. And last but not least, I got to ride in a Porsche last night! Wheeeee! 😀 I didn’t get to drive it yet, though. Darn narcotics. But soon, soon I say! At long last all is turning around and looking rosy in the Land o’ Heather. Maybe there’s something to this outsourcing idea after all… 🙂