Back in 2006 I was placing this huge order on Amazon while sitting in my then-boyfriend’s condo when I saw this offer on the check-out page – I could get half off my order if I signed up for the low-interest, no annual fee Amazon Visa card. Since it was such a massive order, I figured, hey, why not? I’ll never use it and I’ll cancel it soon anyway, what do I have to lose? I signed up, I spent less money, and that was that.

    We all should know by now what happened shortly thereafter that same year – the surgeries, the swelling started, and now here I am, almost two years later, still deathly ill and basically stuck in bed.

    But I still had that Amazon card…

    It had been bugging me for a while, nagging me every so often in the back of my mind – Whoops, I meant to cancel that card ages ago! I hope there’s no balance on it… I don’t think there is, but hey, my memory sucks and I’m not so good about keeping up with mail (email or otherwise), maybe I missed something? I’ll call them tomorrow, check the balance, and cancel the card. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do!

    Like most nagging thoughts in the back of your mind, soon enough they disappear, and you forget about all the things you were going to do tomorrow. Before you know it, all those tomorrows have piled up; they’ve turned into weeks, months, sometimes even a year or more. So it was with my Amazon card.

    Tonight I ended up watching a documentary on Netflix’s Instant Viewing service (I so love them for that!) It was called ‘Maxed Out’ and it was a rather ridiculously anecdotal look at America’s battle with credit card debt. I’m not sure why I was watching it, cause it’s not like I need to be any more afraid of credit cards than I already am. Don’t get me wrong, I love having one, they’re fantastic for traveling, and I think everyone should have one for emergencies. But that doesn’t change the fact that I absolutely hate them – I can’t stand most credit card companies, I hate the never-ending junk mail, and for the most part I think the world would be a much, much better place if we all didn’t rely on credit cards so much. So why was I watching this documentary? It’s like preaching to the choir!

    I don’t know why I was watching it, but at least the documentary was good for something – it brought up that nagging voice again, telling me to check the balance of my Amazon card and finally cancel the stupid thing.

    I pulled out my wallet, got out that card, flipped it over, and found the number for the 24-hour Customer Service line. Perfect! I called them up and got the typical automated voice. I put in a few numbers and then the lovely robotic voice told me that my current balance was zero – huzzah!

    It also told me that my last payment – of less than $100, I might add – was paid in full on May 21… of 2007. Ha! That’s how useless and unimportant that card was to me: I hadn’t used it in over a year! Way to go me!

    Soon enough I had a real person on the line, a woman who asked me what she could do to help me today. I told her I’d like to cancel my account; she asked me why. I told her I just didn’t need it. So what did she say?

    “Have you heard about the new Chase Super Duper Extra Awesome Super Snazzy Reward-O-Rama Visa card? I’m sure you’ve heard about it on TV!” (Okay, so I made up the name, but I didn’t make up that bit about seeing it on TV.)

    It was all I could do not to laugh. First off, I just said I didn’t need the card. Secondly, she’d already pulled up my account history! Surely she was staring at a computer screen that told her the last time I charged anything on that card was well over a year ago. And furthermore, I think I’ve charged all of three things on that card, for a grand total of less than $200 in charges, all of which were paid off within the same month. Why in heaven’s name would I want another card? And why in heaven’s name would they want to give me another one? I’m a completely responsible credit card holder! In other words, in their eyes, I’m a client from hell – they’re making nothing off me, and I like it that way.

    Naturally I told her no, she canceled my account, and within five minutes I was off the phone. Ahhh, success! No more nagging, no more extra card bulking up my wallet, one less little worry to bother me. Freedom!

    But you wanna know the best part? That feeling of cutting up that credit card. Those scissors gliding through that stiff plastic, ripping it neatly in two. Ahhh, there’s nothin’ better than that. You should give it a shot some time too – trust me, your budget will thank you.