So last week, my Mom and I went to Target to check out the after Christmas clearance sales, and while we were browsing the end caps, I came across a 32″ LCD Flat Screen HD TV that was only $500, and I was sorely tempted. But lo, I withstood the temptation (after much whining and begging…) and I went home without a pretty, shiny new TV. Even though I really wanted one, since my friend Jimi was nice enough to buy me that PS3, but all this while I’d been playing it on a teeny tiny little 18-incher that made it kinda hard to see any of the games I was playing. So even though I really, really wanted it so that I could fully enjoy my new toy, I didn’t. I resisted the calls of temptation and left the store!
But just like temptation, it kept nagging and nagging, pulling at my thoughts when I least expected it. Every so often, out of the blue, the TV would come to me in spirit, whispering in my ear as it perched on my shoulder, “Come on, Heather, I’d be so pretty! You could finally play Little Big Planet the way it was meant to be played!”
“No!” I would say, as I attempted to rebuke the Spirit of HD TV Awesomeness. “I shant! Besides, I just don’t have room for you in my bedroom! Where would I even put you?”
“Oh, I’m sure we could find space for me!” It would coo, as it tried its best to look cute and tiny, despite its 32″ inch size. “I’m really not THAT big, I’m sure if you just took that wardrobe out of your room – which you aren’t even using anyway, I might add, so I’d really be doing you a favor by finally encouraging you to get it out of there! So if you just took that out, maybe moved a pretty little table in there at the end of your bed, I would really fit in just nicely!”
“Save your sugary sweet words of temptation, you foul demon!” I would scream, as I tried desperately to hum a tune to distract myself from its bewitching whispers.
“Why, I’m not foul! I’m 720p of beautiful high def goodness! How could anything this crystal clear be bad?”
“But you’re so expensive!” I countered, hoping that at least economics would keep this foul minion of excessive spending at bay. “I can’t possibly afford you! I can’t work, I’m stuck on an allowance again like a child! How could I possibly afford that?”
That was a terrible tactical error on my part. When trying to bargain away temptation, you never open the door, not even a crack. I’m afraid I opened the door, not just a little bit, but the entire way. I had practically flung that door open wide, stood there with my arms open, shouting, “Howdy, neighbor, come on inside!!” And boy, did temptation waltz right in…
“I’ll tell you how you can afford me, no problem!” He cried, his big 32″ mouth brimming from corner to corner with triumphant glee. “Well if you’ll just bargain with your Mother, promise a month of your allowance, and then say the rest is your birthday present just a wee bit early, then it’s all okay!”
When your temptations start making sense, you know you’re in too deep. And wow, was I ever in deep… That triumphant grin had turned into an outright happy dance, as the TV knew I was caught, hook, line, and sinker.
But honestly no, I doubt any fallible human being could withstand such temptation for very long. Could you? Could anyone?! A person can only withstand so much! Alas, I am no different. After all, I am only human. 🙂
So after a week of being so very strong, I caved. When I woke up today and found out I had to go to the doctor, I figured, hey, that’s my excuse! Since I was already going out anyway, it wouldn’t be that difficult to just pop over to Target and see if the TV was even on sale anymore. After all, I kinda doubted that the sale would go on for a whole week, and if I found out the TV had gone back to its normal price, then the Spirit of HD TV Awesomeness could finally leave me in peace.
Um, the only problem was, yeah, the sale was over… but there was another one. An even better one. Oops! Talk about giving more ammo to the enemy…
When I didn’t see the same TV on the end cap at the same price, I decided to go up to the Giant Wall of Obnoxiousness, i.e. the wall where Target has that whole section of nothing but floor-to-ceiling TVs, all blaring full blast, showing Christina Aguilera prancing around as some kind of stupid blonde superhero. (Seriously.) As I was desperately trying to gather my thoughts in the midst of Christina Aguilera being, well, Christina Aguilera (’nuff said), I happened to catch a glimpse of a little red sticker.
You should know that I’ve been trained since birth to recognize things like little red stickers. They may be small, they may not be noticeable to most, but to me, they jump out from across the room. If eye doctors tested my vision with little red stickers, I’d ace my exams every time. See, my Mom taught me my colors by propping me up as a toddler in front of a discount bin at Loehmann’s and having me dig through them to look for the different colored stickers, each color signifying a different percentage of discount. I still remember, black was the best, since that meant 90% off! Needless to say, I knew my colors long before preschool, but unfortunately I’d also recite each color’s meaning at Loehmann’s…
As I got older and we got a Target, then I started helping out with looking for the red stickers on shelves. No matter how hidden, no matter how buried, I can find them. It’s as if I have some kind of inherent Red Sticker Radar (patent pending, of course, hehe). So when this particular little red sticker jumped out at me, my heart fluttered, and poof, that little Spirit of HD TV Awesomeness appeared once again on my shoulder.
“Lean in and look at that price!” he said with such merriment. “I was saving this one just for you!”
Much to my amazement, despite the sale ending, the price had actually gone down! The very same TV that last week had been $500 was now only three hundred and thirty six dollars and ninety eight cents!!
Needless to say, I didn’t need the Spirit of HD TV Awesomeness to tempt me anymore. I was sold. 🙂
So as my story comes to a close, I’m pleased to inform you that after an entire afternoon of my Mom and brother very graciously and kindly moving that old wardrobe out of my room and moving in that new little table – just like that little Spirit suggested – I now have a brand new 32″ High Definition LCD Flat Screen Television at the end of my bed. My PS3 is hooked up to it, and holy freaking crap, it looks so incredibly freaking awesome!! I now am completely convinced that I’m utterly spoiled, as I seem to have the best bedroom entertainment system EVER! 🙂
And of course, the events of today have also reinforced my belief that hey, sometimes it’s perfectly okay if you give into temptation. Provided, of course, that the temptation in question involves finding an incredibly good deal printed on a nice little red sticker at Target. That, or chocolate, either one. 🙂