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For quite a long time, my Mother and I have been huge fans of the TLC hit show ‘Jon & Kate Plus 8’. We loved watching the Gosselin kids grow up, we loved watching them interact with each other and the world. It was like having a whole slew of extra nieces and nephews to vicariously dote on each week. The show has also been a huge comfort to me at times. A few months ago I had a lymphocintography done, a horrific scan where they inject radioactive dye between each of your fingers so they can watch the dye move through your lymphatic system with a scanner. Even with everything I’ve gone through – surgeries, amputation, everything – that was the most painful experience I’ve ever had in my entire life. It was the first time I’d ever screamed while having a medical test or procedure performed. After that test, all I wanted to do was go home, lay down, and watch Jon & Kate Plus 8. The show really helped to keep me happy, even in the midst of unbearable pain. Having such a personal history with the show makes what I’m about to say even harder. |
I’ve just canceled my Tivo season pass for Jon & Kate Plus 8 and I sincerely hope you’ll do the same.
No doubt, if you’re a fan – or even if you’re just casually aware of the show – I’m sure you’ve heard about the big scandal that recently erupted all over the covers of tabloids and magazines. Sordid rumors of infidelity have percolated about both Jon & Kate, alleging affairs with a younger woman and the couple’s personal bodyguard, respectively. At first it was just fodder for the tabloids. Kate took it upon herself to do the talk show circuit, pleading with the public to let the couple handle these tough times privately. I could respect that, I could understand that, although I thought perhaps they could have accomplished spreading that message without spreading Kate’s face all across the networks. But still, at least she was doing what seemed to be the right thing.
That is, until she decided to go to People magazine and splash her face on the cover, along with the blaring headline, “We might split up!” Yeah, that’s handling it privately. Good going, Kate.
After that People cover, I’ve lost any and all respect I ever had for Kate. I’d cringed like the rest of us whenever she belittled her husband for perceived grammatical errors or not breathing in a manner in which she approved. But I could set that aside, since Jon had always insisted that it was alright. After all, who was I to judge what worked for them?
| But the minute I saw that cover and that headline, my first thought was, ‘handling it privately, Kate? Your children are going to see that.’ Sure enough, that magazine cover was splashed across every cash register lane at my local grocery store. I’m sure it’s no different where they live in Pennsylvania. In the season premiere episode that just aired tonight, it shows Kate taking all eight of her children to a party store, surrounded entirely by the paparazzi. Clearly Kate’s taking those kids shopping, so surely they must have seen Mommy’s face and read those big bold words about the state of their parents’ marriage. How is that not going to affect them? Or, thinking of the best possible scenario, even if the kids don’t see the magazine cover themselves, surely a friend at school has and will more likely than not bring it up over snacks one day in the classroom. Some day, some how, those kids are going to see their Mommy’s face next to those words and it is going to drastically affect their lives and their perception of the world. How is that handling it privately? |  |
For me, this whole scandal isn’t even about infidelity anymore – which honestly, I don’t think I believe, but what do I know? This scandal is about how the show is now affecting the lives of the ‘Plus 8’. There are eight little children being filmed, eight little children caught up in this scandal, and now their Mother is airing her dirty laundry in the public eye, right in front of her children and all of their friends. And that, I’m afraid to say, disgusts me.
I had decided to watch the season premiere and see how Jon & Kate were going to handle this situation. I was very disappointed by what I saw. Jon looked miserable and yet again, Kate didn’t seem to listen to him at all. As she sat alone on the chair and opined about how miserable it was to see her face on the cover of tabloids and magazines, and how – poor her – no one ever seems to think about the life of that person and how it’s adversely affected by that attention, all I could think was, ‘Sorry, honey, but you brought the worst of those magazine covers upon yourself.’ Kate, you invited People in, you gave them that story, that quote, and that picture. Poor you? Bull. Your sob story doesn’t jive with what you’ve done and it merely paints you as a hypocrite.
Sadly, though, that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part, for me, was her other diatribe about having spent the last six months desperately trying to figure out what the problem was, what was driving her and her husband apart, how they had so suddenly become such different people.
Open your eyes! What’s the problem? You were staring at it the whole time those words were coming out of your mouth. It’s called a camera, that giant lens and the people behind it who are now in your home, who are in every aspect of you, your husband’s, and your childrens’ lives. You’re inviting the entire world into your life, into your home, so don’t be shocked when you meet the inevitable consequences of not being able to control your privacy.
If Jon & Kate really wanted to solve their problems, if they really wanted to keep their family and their marriage together, they would turn off those cameras immediately and walk away. It’s the only way they’ll ever be able to salvage the shreds of their marriage. It’s the only way they’ll ever really be able to protect their children.
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The children… Those poor children. You know what, Kate talking about not being able to figure out the problem wasn’t even the worst part. No, the worst part was the scene where she’s pulling her children out of the van as they’re going to the party store to buy decorations for the sextuplet’s fifth birthday. Colin says, “The paparazzi are over there!” She snaps at him, saying, “Don’t say that word! Don’t ever say that word!” She then narrates off camera that she doesn’t ever like to have them say the word ‘paparazzi’, that she instead tells them to refer to the paparazzi as ‘P People’. As if changing their name will change who these people are, or what they’re doing to your children, or how they’re invading their lives, forever altering your childrens’ perception of the world around them! Changing their name will never change the fact that they’re still there and they’re still taking pictures. |
Jon & Kate used to always say that they’d only go along with the show so long as they thought their children would still be able to lead normal lives, and that the benefits for them outweighed the risks. When your son can’t be taken out of his car seat and walked into a store without him saying, “Hey, Mom, look, it’s the paparazzi!”, I think that’s a damn good sign that their lives aren’t normal anymore. I think that’s a damn good sign that the risks have now outweighed the benefits.
Honestly, I feel slightly ashamed that I ever watched the show. I feel somewhat responsible – in my own small way as one viewer – for encouraging the family to keep going with the production of the show. I can’t, in good conscience, continue to encourage and enable behaviors that are clearly destructive to their family unit. That’s why I’ve canceled my season pass, why I will no longer be watching the show. And I really, honestly, sincerely hope that you’ll do the same. I really do love those children, I don’t want to see them hurt. I really believe that the show is hurting them now, so I can’t stand to watch. It’s a trainwreck, and this human – for once – is going to look away.
Please, Jon & Kate, kick the cameras out of your home before it’s too late. It’s not too late to repair some of the damage. You’ve made enough money to secure their future, you’ve built enough of an estate to keep them clothed, fed, and sheltered for a very long time. Isn’t that enough? They don’t need the fame and fortune, what they need are both their parents and a happy, normal childhood in a cohesive, loving family unit.
Stop rationalizing, stop excusing it; just end it.