Sorry, Sujit, I’m rescinding my word temporarily that I would try to refrain from expressing so many ill-feelings about the Harry Potter films, but I have to talk about this.
Warner Brothers has hired a director for the third Harry Potter film, my favorite of the four books, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. And it’s Alfonso Cuaron. This is just fantastic. Now the film will turn into Harry and Ron driving around the coasts of Scotland with Professor McGonagall in the backseat talking about nothing but racy and sometimes disgusting topics. If the reviewers said Cuaron’s last film, Y Tu Mama Tambien, was racy, I can’t imagine what it was really like. Reviewers always understate such things, and the clip I saw – the one they said was one of only two that they could actually show on television – was pretty racy in unto itself.
(Excuse me if this is inaccurate, I’m just going by what I was told, what I’ve read, and what I’ve seen of it. I don’t watch R rated films, so I haven’t seen the whole thing.)
But still. So he did a children’s film in 1995. Sure, the ‘Little Princess’ was good, but he basically took all the good parts out of the original with Shirley Temple, and then added a few modern day camera tricks. If they’re interested in directors with an affinity for adapting Frances Hodgson Burnett books into film, go with Agnieszka Holland. Her work with the Secret Garden in 1993 was nothing short of amazing. Not only was it beautiful to look at from beginning to end, the music was perfect, she got amazing performances out of those children, and she matched the tone of that book as if she had written it herself. That’s what Harry Potter needs. A director who can combine acting, style, brilliant cinematography, music, and yet still stay absolutely true to the *feeling* of a book.
And lets not forget, Cuaron also did Great Expectations. Again, haven’t seen it, but I’ve certainly heard lots about that movie.
What happened to the long queue of A-list directors that were lining up for the first film? Steven Spielberg, Brad Silberling, Terry Gilliam, Wolfgang Peterson, etc? Why don’t they get a second chance? Do they even want it now? Cuaron was the first on the little insignificant list for the third film, and he’s now most widely known for his racy Mexican movie. That’s a *great* controversy to tack onto an already touchy franchise. They already have enough people wanting to burn the books and ban the movies, let’s add a whole other chemical to this already toxic fire. Yeah, that’s great business and amazing forethought. Thanks, Warners, we all needed another sign that you’re all brilliant business men and women.
So the A-list has disappeared. Big surprise. I’m glad Spielberg didn’t get it, I haven’t been happy with his latest stuff. If he got it the film would be far too violent, far too graphic, and Tom Cruise would show up with his eyeballs in a bag. Brad Silberling, he would have been amazing from a purely artistic standpoint. His camera work and tone is great, but would he have fit Harry Potter? I think the older fans would have loved it, but I’m not sure his sometimes standoffish style would mesh with the ickle kiddies. Wolfgang Peterson? I’m glad he didn’t get involved for one reason, and it’s completely selfish. Ender’s Game. He’s signed on to direct my other favorite book by Orson Scott Card. I’ve never really been into Sci-fi, but that book kicks butt. He has great experience with war films, and that movie needs that. Of course, I’m still hoping they make one of the sequels, Shadow of the Hegemon, into a movie next, because I think I liked that one more than Ender.
But Terry Gilliam. I really do wish he hadn’t been so moralistic. If he would have just flicked Warner Brothers off and said, “Screw you, I’ll make this movie the way Jo wanted it made and you can keep your )*(@# money,” then we would have had a truly wonderful Harry Potter film. Even if you loved the first film, Terry would have made it better. For goodness sake, he was J.K. Rowling’s personal first choice. They discussed the film several times. He was going to get it. He went into the meeting to discuss ideas and reportedly sign the contract. But no. He walks in, Warners says something to the effect of, “Get this straight, we’re building a franchise, not making a movie. You make this for the money or not at all.” He replied, “Fine.” And out he went. Terry, I’m sorry, but dang you for being so moralistic. He would have made this film truly amazing. He had everything – the feel, the attitude, the ability to work with children. The talent to take a children’s movie and make it intellectual enough so that it’s not just some blonde kid slapping his cheeks and screaming, but make it interesting enough for an adult audience as well. If ever any film needed that it was Harry Potter.
But nooOOooo.
I was really counting on Terry Gilliam coming back. Some shift in the system, some punch in Warner Brothers’ arms. I was dying for Terry to direct the second film, purely so he’d make the ending creepy, but not so dark that it’d scare all the extremists. But the third. I was really holding out for that one. He could have shaped Sirius Black into a truly magnificent character, just as he was in the books. He could have made Remus Lupin mysterious enough, while still maintaining that fatherly undertone.
When I went to England the first time I was interviewed by TalkTV in Canada. It was a discussion between the interviewer, a movie critic, and myself about the first film, the direction of the franchise, and what should have been done. Not surprisingly, I was the only one out of the three that was disappointed by the film. It was supposed to go the other way, they said. They expected the reviewer to represent the Against case, and the avid Harry Potter fan to be for the opposite. It flipped, and it got interesting.
I expressed my opinion that Chris Columbus had made the film too shallow, that the twist in the book had been completely lost in translation. That the audience spent so much time having “Snape is the baddie, Snape is the baddie” barrelled into them that when the real villain was revealed it just didn’t make any sense. The viewer, in almost all cases I’ve heard of, was lost. Utterly. The intelligence, detail, and thought that went into the book was lost because we didn’t experience any of the hidden clues. Just “Snape is the baddie, Snape is the baddie!” I tried to express this, and not surprisingly, the adults just chuckled at me and said, “Well, who would you have wanted to direct it?” I suggested Gilliam. They just laughed, dismissing my comments by saying that then Harry Potter would be played by Johnny Depp. Whatever. I don’t think they really knew what they were talking about, since they combatted my comment about how the book could have been translated so much better. They just said, “Well, name a book that got turned into a film and actually worked.” Not a second’s hesitation and I spouted Agnieszka Holland’s triumph with the Secret Garden and Robert Mulligan’s phenomenal work with To Kill a Mockingbird. Both were done with accuracy, with love for the books, and yet they both turned out to be amazing movies.
That’s what Harry Potter lacked. And that’s my problem with Alfonso Cuaron. That’s my problem with Chris Columbus. I want depth, not just eye-candy. I want true characters, I want plot twists that make sense.
Another funny note – they say the principle cast members will all be back. Zoe Wannamaker won’t. (She played the Quidditch teacher, Madam Hooch.) She was thrown off the set while filming the second movie just for *gasp* talking to the press. She said one ill word to them after years of having duct tape over her mouth, and out she went. Fired. All for saying what she really thought, rather than the dribble Warner Brothers was saying in her name. She claims they’re doing the same to Richard Harris, Robbie Coltrane, and all the others. I think if they deserve an Oscar for anything, they deserve it for keeping Richard Harris’ mouth shut. He’s one crotchety old coot.
One last tidbit of Warner Brothers info: An 11 year old boy recently won a Looney Toons contest, the grand prize being a brand new WB edition Chevy Venture. WB is refusing to hand the prize over to the boy, claiming that he’s underage and it states in the rules that since he’s not 18 he can’t win. Except, it states in the rules that if a minor wins, the prize will be awarded to the child in the name of the parents or legal guardians. Warner Brothers, in traditional fashion, is refusing to budge. The poor boy has had to hire an attorney to try and get his prize.
And the saddest part is, it would cost Warner Brothers *nothing* to give the kid the stupid van. It’d be completely paid for by Chevy, WB wouldn’t lose a penny. But instead, they stand to lose even more of their “friendly” image because of all the bad press.
Shall I offer my services to the 11 year old winner and his family? I might. It’d be a great joke. All of the old players are there, Brogliatti, Feinstein, the legal department, and pretty soon, the dreaded publicity department. All except Ms. Diane Nelson. Apparently she’s not working at Warners anymore. Tee hee hee. Who would have guessed…
I shall quit ranting… for now. I needed to get all of that out, it just makes me mad. How can they be so stupid? First the poor little van-less boy, and now this. Some raunchy Mexican guy has taken over a project about a 13 year old boy who becomes a wizard. This can’t be good.