Argh, don’t wanna be up this late… wanna sleep… wanna talk normal… 🙂
Kevin took me out to see The Bourne Identity today, which was loads of fun. We talked about geeky stuff on the way in, and I completely embarrassed myself with my knowledge of Star Trek. I have no clue where all of that stuff comes from! I’ve gotten into debates with people over the color of Klingon blood, whether the Vulcans truly have pointed ears, and every time after one of these discussions my face turns red and I wonder, “Why the heck do I know all this crap?”
Today was no different. We were waiting for our popcorn at the concession stand, and to our right was the big huge cardboard stand-up for “Star Trek: Nemesis.” Kevin remarked on its slogan, “The final journey begins.” We started laughing, and I said, “Yeah, maybe they’ll all just blow up at the end.” Then I actually stopped myself and said, “Wait, they can’t do that, it’d screw up the timeline… crap.” Kevin and I both started laughing and he just went, “Geek.” Later, as we were walking down the infinitely long hallway to our theatre, he said, “Okay, wait a minute, so why would it screw up the timeline?” So I had to get into this technical description of some episode of Voyager I saw where Lt. Barkley and Troi showed up to help Voyager. How ultimately sad is that?! I’ll admit, I watch Star Trek occasionally when there’s nothing on TV and I feel like watching something pointless. It’s great for that, and so much better than the other alternatives. But I should *not* by any means be able to recall singular episodes that further prove the timeline of events from the creation of the warp engine to the possible destruction and untimely death of the TNG crew. It’s just sick and wrong.
Echem, moving on… The rest of the day was lovely. I enjoyed Bourne Identity again (….frankapotente!… [sorry, inside-blog joke]), but I didn’t make it to Ikea today. Oh well. The auditions went really well, I thought. It was fun, but I embarrassed myself a few times. Ah, that only adds to the experience, right? However, the first part I read for included a point where I had to say, “Duh!” Erring on the side of exuberence, I decided to read the part as a typical valley girl, complete with accent. It got a *huge* laugh out of the directors, but from there on out I was cast as a kid or another ditz. I didn’t get to read for any of the serious roles, which rather stunk. I was hoping to wow ’em with Shakespeare, I’d even been practicing!
“Art thou a man? they form cries out thou art:
Thy tears are womanish; thy wild acts denote
The unreasonable fury of a beast:
Unseemly woman in a seeming man!
Or ill-beseeming beast in seeming both!
Thou has amazed me: by my holy order,
I thought thy disposition better tempered.”
See? I can do serious, I can be a thespian. Did you pick up on my accent? It ruled, didn’t it?
Haha, sorry, it’s late…
I watched a great show on TLC earlier that I think I might just order on video when it comes out, to preserve for my posterity and all that. It’s “Teen Species”, all about what really goes on inside a teen’s mind and body. I was thinking it’d just be depressing and condescending, but they actually handled everything extremely well, at least in what I’ve seen so far. I’d love to watch the rest of the episodes, it was really interesting. They covered basic stuff, but also a few technical things that made quite a few things make a whole lot more sense. Like exactly what happens physically when a boy’s voice cracks – it was great to see a little animation on that. Ugh, but it made me choke when they put a camera down a poor boy’s throat to look at his vocal chords as he sang. Ooooh, I could barely stand that at all.
Oh, and while watching that I’ve had a little break-through. I’ve been really worried about this recent bout I’ve had of getting far too emotionally involved in everything I see or hear. Especially on the news, I can end up getting seriously upset, risking really bad stomach aches. I thought I’d turned into a wuss; I used to think things were sad, but I’d never be physically bothered by them. Then all of a sudden, bam, I’m having stomach aches, wanting to cry for all these lost children, and feeling as if I was the one who lost a loved one during a car crash or natural disaster. I can’t continue to live life in this little cocoon I’ve built for myself, I’ll just feel too stupid and too cut off from the world. Like my friend Robert wrote to me yesterday (As in, August 29 – It’s still August 30 to me, sorry) and asked what I thought about the US’ climate control summit. I couldn’t say a single thing, or express a single opinion, because I had none. Why? I didn’t know a thing about it. I felt rather stupid, and we all know I don’t like to feel like I’m being left out of learning something.
But, on the other hand, I can’t keep subjecting myself to the news in my current state. So what brought on this all? It hit me when that show was talking about changes in teenage mood. No, I don’t think it’s hormones, I’ve worked very hard to control those. And it’s not even a mood thing, it just happens whenever I hear something sad. I’m overly empathetic all of a sudden. But what is it? I think I figured it out. In the past I’ve been diagnosed with mild Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Understandable, after six years of a stupid infection. Me of all people should understand this – I’ve spent years researching PTSD for a book, I understand it. And yet I couldn’t see it in myself. I think this latest battle with over-empathy is just another way of dealing with it. Sure enough, I’ve looked it up in my psychology book and that’s one of the symptoms. Now that I know what the problem is, I can address it and take care of it so I can finally quit feeling like a sheltered dork. I like to know what’s going on in the world, I don’t like to be the ditz who doesn’t know what’s going on. And I know my friends probably don’t think that, but I miss the news. I miss the stupid music. I miss the talking heads. Well, the BBC anyway, I could live without CNN. They’ve turned into the Barbie and Ken News Hour. Don’t even get me started on that!
I think I’ve covered everything I want to cover, and now it’s time to sleep. If this is riddled with typos, I do apologize. It’s way too late for proper spelling or rational thought. Good night!