I still can’t sleep. It’s six in the morning and I’m not even tired. I think there’s something seriously wrong with me now, I’m freaking nocturnal. I’m thinking of forcing myself to just stay awake all day today, and then going to bed at 10:00 tonight. That way I can get onto a more normal sleeping schedule. Maybe I’ll read the other Harry Potter books from beginning to end – Sorcerer’s Stone through Goblet of Fire – to keep myself awake.
I can’t even believe I’m not tired yet! I was going to do some exercise today – put the exercise bike together and then ride it until I couldn’t feel my legs – but things have been hurting too badly. Today, as I was going up the stairs around 4:30pm, I nearly fell down because all of a sudden one of the tumors in my back started hurting *really* bad. It’s never done that before. It felt like my lower back was twisting and turning, and that it just felt… ill. There isn’t really a description for it. It wasn’t cramping, it wasn’t a stinging pain, nor did it feel like there was a knife in my back. It just ached. Almost like if it were a joint it would need to pop to release way too much tension. The tumor still feels that way, and now each of my joints in turn are reflecting that same feeling. For the past 8 hours it has been the elbow, wrist, and pinky finger of my left arm. Now it’s migrated to my right elbow and pinky, but the wrist still seems okay. Nothing seems to make it any better. Massaging it makes it worse, trying to pop the joints does nothing. I’m so sick of feeling sick. Can’t I just be normal for a while, please?
To keep myself occupied earlier this evening (or rather, last night, I should say), I decided to finally get a few sections of my blog in order, since they’ve been nonexistant since I created this thing over a year ago. Those sections are, Writing & Photography. The Writing section is basically a small list of things I’ve written – right now it only consists of an excerpt from my first real novel, “(In)sane”, previously unreleased anywhere else. I think only about 6 people have read it, honestly. I’d appreciate some honest opinions on it, if you don’t mind. The first three chapters are up there (and I warn you, if you steal it, I’ll personally hunt you down and slap you with the scariest lawsuit you’ve ever seen.) Also on the list, my toe essay, a chronicle of events regarding all the problems I’ve had with my toe. I wrote it last year some time, so I suppose I’ll have to update it somewhat soon, since more problems have come up. Fun. I’ll do that later, when I’m not so… numb. Finally on the list, the blog I posted a few weeks ago about my religion. I’ve decided that after all the amazing feedback I’ve gotten on it I wanted to put the actual essay up so it’d be easier to find in the future.
As for the photography section, that’s just going to be a place for me to put up random snapshots. Right now it’s just a picture of my car. 🙂
It’s strange how lonely it gets at 6 o’clock in the morning. Now I know why most people sleep through it, and why I try to sleep far past it normally. The house is so quiet, no one else except for me has been inside it for the past nine hours. It’s strange, really. I’m not used to being this alone for this long.
I think I’ll go read now. I wish I could sleep.