I can now breathe a highly desired sigh of relief – Dean emailed me to let me know that the partners loved the idea. Everything’s peachy and it looks like once we get a meeting set up with the Count I’ll be shipping off to Berlin. I got way too nervous over this, I’m a wreck now. And I’m also very hungry – I was so nervous and punchy at dinner that I could only eat half of my waffle. On the way home I got funny looks from people in other cars because I was laughing so hard at the stupidest things. So when I got home I decided to wind down. I got two movies at Blockbuster: ‘Zoolander’ – something stupid to keep my mind off of everything, and ‘Labyrinth’ because of the previously mentioned feelings about how much of a Princess I thought Jennifer Connelly was in that movie. I figured it’d be a good omen, you know. I only managed to watch Zoolander, haven’t gotten to Labyrinth yet. But it was great to just lay down in the basement, wearing my biggest, fluffiest pajamas, and laugh at a ridiculously stupid movie. It helped, I think. And believe me, in the mood I was in, that movie has never been funnier.

To answer Alexi’s question of how do I meet such interesting people; you know what, I have no clue. I think it’s because my sense of inappropriateness is backwards. To explain – I have no problem emailing perfect strangers who happen to be in positions of power and inviting them to lunch, but you know what? I get really nervous trying to order a pizza. I’m backwards. My Anxiety Poles have been reversed. Dealing with this oddity usually means I end up doing things that are quite honestly incredibly weird. Like developing a TV show at the age of 18. I’m weird. That fact has really hit me over the past few days. I’m strange, I’m weird, I’m even scary. But you know what, that’s okay. Now if only that meant it wasn’t so hard to get asked out on a date. That’s the only thing I don’t really like about being weird.


Anyway, I digress. (Not surprising right now.) How do I meet interesting people? I have no fear of them, even though in some cases I should (i.e. PotterWar and those nasty Senior V.P’s.) It just so happens that most of these people tend to think I’m weird, or entertaining, or strange, so somehow we keep talking. With several of these people, that mutual curiosity has lasted long enough to develop into some pretty strong relationships. For instance, Alastair, my PotterWar brother-in-arms. That started with one ridiculous email; I read about him in an article, decided he’d be nice to work with, and sent him an overly formal email asking for assistance. He wrote back, told me I made him laugh, and that was that. Now he’s one of my best friends, which in unto itself is strange as well – he’s in his thirties, I’m only 18. It all started because I was being ignorant of nerves and shot off an email. I’m really glad I did in this case, as in many others.

To sum it up: I have misplaced guts. I know I’m weird, but I don’t think I’m anything remarkably different. Anybody could do what I’ve done if they had the same polarity mix-up that I have. Anybody could do this if they didn’t have that fear of approaching these people.

I think I’m going to bed now; I need to sleep. I have to talk business with Dean tomorrow, which will be loads of fun, but I want to be coherent for it. Hopefully this newfound nervousness will wear off and I’ll be able to slip back into fairytale mode. It makes everything so much more fun. Thanks to everyone’s kind words in the comments for the last blog, that was very sweet of you. I needed every word of it.