I’ve discovered the ultimate cure for the blues – get in your car, start driving, and sing along to Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun.’ But wait! Before you grab those keys and head out the door, there’s a catch: sing it with gusto, sing it with power, sing it… like an opera star.

I swear, you won’t be able to go five words before giggling uncontrollably. It’s fantastic! Of course, other drivers might see you alternating between serious melodrama and fits of laughter, thus thinking that you’re certifiable. But never fear; you’ll know that they’re just missing out on the best thing since sliced bread.

This leads to my belief that someone should produce an 80’s-palooza opera. Think just how entertaining it would be to hear a deep baritone belt, ‘You spin me right round, baby, right round!’ Or how about a tenor singing an aria to his love, to the tune of ‘Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car’? What about a full-on chorus of The Fine Young Cannibals’ classic, ‘She Drives Me Crazy’? It could be absolute opera gold! Watch yourself, Andrew Lloyd Webber! Step aside, Puccini! And don’t even think about it, Mozart! You may have gotten Figaro married, but did you marry the extravagent theatricality of opera with the pure musical genius of the 1980’s? I think not!

But what would my opera’s plot line be? Surely there’d be at least one love triangle, a whole heckuva lot of hairspray (for those big scary 80’s ‘do’s), some brightly colored leggings, a denim jacket or two, and a definite upsurge in the use of synthesizers. But is that enough for a story? If it’s enough to fill a crappy movie like ’13 Going on 30’, then it’s certainly enough for an opera!

Anybody got any ideas? What classic 80’s songs would you want to hear sung all bombastically? What characters should have cameos? (Let it be officially known that our first nomination is Max Headroom.) Plot line ideas? And, if it were possible, which part would be reserved for the great Maria Callas? Get those brains moving beneath that mountain of Flock of Seagulls hair! You know you can! 🙂