Whenever I’ve had a free moment lately I’ve been studying various psychological approaches to dream interpretations. Specifically speaking, the work of Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung, Gayle Delaney, and others. I’m no stranger to the realms of psychology; I’ve been studying it off and on for the past nine years or so. Jung and I, we go way back. But that Frued fellow, every time I come across his theories I’m forced to laugh. Sure, we have to give him his props (that doesn’t sound right coming out of me.) He is pretty much the Father of modern psychoanalysis, which is good. But there’s one thing about his general theory that cracks me up. It’s fascinating to me how he thought everything – absolutely everything – was always linked back to sex. Even babies, their actions were predominantly linked to sex. Those phases, yup, all about sex.

    Freud and his preoccupations are hilarious, especially when he projects them upon everyone else but himself. That whole pen dream? He’s the one doing the stabbing, and yet he glances right over the obvious violent and sexual implications against his own psyche. But when it comes to everything and everyone else, they’re all hopeless slaves to their sexual desires, physically starving for lack of satisfaction, straining under the guilt their subconscious imposes upon them. Give me a break.

    What brought this up? In this textbook I have, they’re covering various common themes in dreams. It seems that with every common theme, this little factoid keeps appearing where Freud adds his two cents. Without fail, it’s always linked back to sex. Falling dreams? They’re about a woman’s unfilled and guilty desires. Being chased by a monster or dangerous animal? The dreamer (conveniently referred to as a woman) is wishing for a sexual encounter but can’t bring herself to confront it. If a man dreams that his washing machine is broken, that washing machine is really a phallic symbol, and – you guessed it – the man is experiencing a feeling of sexual impotence.

    If you ask me, I think Freud had significant issues himself. His very reasoning gives him away. It seems so very convenient for the ego of man to believe that women are as preoccupied with sex as they are. Perhaps it is difficult for some to realize this, but there’s so much more to a well-rounded psyche than sex. Give it up, Sigmund, sometimes a washing machine is just a washing machine.