Did you know that Swedes are amazing? I didn’t! I mean, sure, I always thought they were great (except for that whole Abba thing… sorry, but the perkiness scares me), but I never ever knew they were this fantastic.
    I’ve been working with several Swedes lately. On what, you may ask? I’m starting another charity. Yup, that’s right, like I needed another one. But you know, some girls collect shoes, I collect good causes and then organize them, give them a name, and make their websites pretty. You see, part of that whole big rant thing that I’m not going to talk about much, that had to do with the reality hitting me of having been diagnosed with a new disease. I shouldn’t be this surprised, it seems like getting diagnosed with something new is now my regular Saturday night thing, but this one’s bugging me. Why? Because it’s a double whammy – not only is it rare, it’s also quite unknown! Yup, even prominent doctors have either very little knowledge of it, or worse, they’ve never even heard of it. I was only even diagnosed with it in the first place after two years of agony and one very sweet Dermatologist who spent hours of his own time doing research and happening to come across this disease thanks to amazing luck. Now I’m so much of an enigma that even Johns Hopkins has no clue what I’ve been diagnosed with.
    What does this have to do with the Swedes? Well, the Swedes are pretty much the only people to have ever studied this disease. 10,000 women in southern Sweden alone have already been diagnosed with it, lending credence to my theory that perhaps this disease isn’t as rare as everyone seems to think it is, it’s just been vastly ignored. I’ve been doing a great deal of research and the most comprehensive information I’ve found was written by a prominent doctor in Lund who, as far as I’m aware, is pretty much the only person to have studied this disease in well over half a century. Uh huh, this disease has been around for over 100 years, and yet no one except the Swedes have ever thought, ‘Hey, this thing could be fatal, maybe we should figure it out so these poor strangely chubby people don’t die!’
    As a part of this new charity, I want to educate the general public and the medical community about this disease, so that hopefully more people will be properly diagnosed and receive treatment. And most importantly of all, I don’t want them to have to go through the hell I’ve gone through trying to convince my insurance company and various doctors that no, I did not make this up, and yes, this is an actual disease with actual pain and actual serious consequences. This is wrong, and hence my speech earlier, I might as well do something about it since I’m just sitting around in my pajamas all day since it hurts too much to put my clothes on.
    So I’ve been talking to the Swedes, I’ve been sending out emails asking Swedish medical journals to allow me to reprint articles, and I’ve been talking to doctors about the content I’ve written for the charity’s website, making sure it’s all accurate, and asking them for further details on their research. And you know what? That prominent doctor in Lund, the first time I emailed him, he wrote back within an hour! He’s awesome! He answered all my questions, he gave me permission to reprint his article, he looked over the entire website to check for errors, he made suggestions, and you know what else this awesome Swede did for me? He said that if ever I have any further questions, either regarding the website or about my own treatment, he’s there, ready and willing to answer anything I throw at him. That’s so far and beyond the call of duty, and yet he’s being the most incredibly helpful doctor I’ve ever met, and I’ve never even met him.
    Like I said, Swedes kick stånga. The site for the new charity will be up soon, and then my plans to continue taking over the world through niceness will be one step closer to success. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go contemplate buying flat pack furniture and I’m going to drink myself under the table with lingonberry juice, because I love me some Swedes!