I’m heading off to Pittsburgh in about five hours and I just can’t get to sleep. It shouldn’t be any surprise, though, since I slept for 16 hours yesterday… whoops. 🙂 Even apart from that, I think I’m too excited to sleep. It feels good to finally be on my way. Let’s just hope this opportunity doesn’t fall apart like all the others. If it does, I shall be royally ticked.

    I’ve had a thought and I’d like some feedback. Over the years I’ve developed an addiction to buying domain names. It’s gotten a tad bit ridiculous as I now have something like 25 domains. Most of them are devoted to great causes, like the Daily Prophet and its parent company, the new Dercum’s Disease support group and awareness campaign, and this fabulous blog. But there are a few that I bought simply because they sounded cute and/or funny, thus when I was delighted to discover they were available, I had to have them. This include such domains as B612.org (named for the asteroid that the Little Prince lives on [the site’s almost done, actually…]), Unsinkables.com (i.e. Molly Brown – this was going to be a club for kick-butt women, but all it is now is a cute web design), and my personal favorite, FashionAssassin.org. The name popped into my head one day and I fell in love with it instantly. I didn’t have a plan for it to begin with, but I wanted it. A few weeks after I bought it I came up with a fabulous plan for it and a keen design, but then I got horribly sick and never got to finish it. It’s been sitting there like that for I think two years now and I’ve always wanted to go back and finish it off, but for some reason the idea just didn’t seem as hot as it did originally. I still, however, am madly in love with the name. It has oomph. So much so, actually, that I keep getting these random emails from fashion students asking me if they can intern with my company. Sadly I have to tell them I’m just a domain-a-holic who can’t finish what she starts, but one day, one day… maybe I’ll be able to boss them around like real interns at a real company. Maybe.

    This brings me to a recent tangent that I hadn’t even considered to be at all connected to my domain addiction or Fashion Assassin in particular. As I’ve mentioned previously, one of the only things keeping me going through this hideous process of trying to deal with Dercum’s Disease, has been the thought that one day soon I’ll be able to wear clothes I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl. Once my body is rid of all these diseased, painful fat cells, I’ll be back to my normal self, I’ll be able to fit into real clothes. I’m thrilled by that prospect and have been dreaming accordingly about silk chiffon dresses, skin-hugging black silk velvet ball gowns, and, of course, the Infamous Kick Butt Red Dress. Over the past few weeks, dare I say it, I’ve found myself becoming hooked on haute couture.

    I’m not stranger to buying designer clothes – my Mother taught me the art of outlet shopping very well. However, I never really felt the allure of haute couture. Sure it was pretty, but I didn’t feel any need for it. It was out there as something to merely look at… much like those designer perfumes I’ve been buying like crazy lately. See where I’m going with this? Yeah, I’m just as scared as you are. The perfumes were just an entry drug, as I’m finding myself falling in love with certain designers and their Ready to Wear couture lines. Heaven help me, I’m dying for Ralph Lauren; save me, I’m pining for a certain Vera Wang gown; reel me in before I drown, I’m drowning in awe of a certain black velvet number by Isaac Mizrahi. Forgive me, for I fear I am a Fashionista.

    What am I supposed to do now? I’m going to have to buy an all-new wardrobe after surgery, and it’s not like I can go out and spend $1,000 to get that skin-tight cashmere dress from Ralph Lauren’s vintage automobile inspired Fall line (could anything be more perfectly made for me?!) I want my clothes to be lined, underlined, lined again, lined until they just can’t take it anymore. I want them to have the weight that my Brooks Brothers pleated skirt has. I want my clothes to be as soft as my perfumed skin. I want them to fit in ways that no clothing has ever been able to fit me before! What am I to do?

    As I spent yet another night drooling over yet another designer’s spring line, an idea came to me. Finally, a use for FashionAssassin.org! I’m thinking I’ll start another blog there, purely devoted to fashion and my new-found couture addictions. I’ll also write all the original guides to style, etiquette, and shopping that I had planned to write in the first place. I’ll create a modern 20-something’s guide to affordable couture – where you can fudge it, and where you can’t; how to get the most for your money (or ‘Bye-Bye Banana Repbulic, Hello Nordies!’); how to shop for any shape; and most importantly, how to dress before you dress (i.e. ‘Deraveling the Mysteries of Foundations’). I’ve been designing my own clothes and scouring designer outlets since I was two – I think I’ve gathered enough wisdom to do what I can to help other women (and men!) out on a few of the finer points of fashion and fineries. And most importantly, do it in a way that will be open to everyone – no talking down to the audience, no talk of elitism, just straight advice and fanaticism for looking fabulous.

    I think it’ll be fun, and more importantly, it’ll help me work through my Fashionista frustrations. And, one day, if I can keep up with this and keep it going, maybe it’ll help open a few doors and opportunities. As sick as I’ve been lately, as out of it as I am most of the time, I can always dream and blab about clothes. This will be a pleasant, happy distraction during surgery. And hopefully some good will come of it.

    This will give me plenty to write about on the drive up to Pittsburgh in a few hours and lots of happy things to think about while meeting with the doctors on Friday. I do have one favor to ask of you all, though – are there any other frustration Fashionistas out there who would want to play along? If fashion isn’t your thing, but etiquette is, then we have a place for you. Or if you’re addicted to shoes, you’re welcome to chat your head off about that too. Whatever suits your fancy, FashionAssassin.org sure could use a few comrades in arms! So if you’d like to play, send me an email and we’ll talk. 🙂 It’ll be fun, I promise!

    Wish me luck in Pittsburgh!