So it turns out “I poke badgers with spoons” isn’t so random after all; the people at Hot Topic simply didn’t know where it came from (and neither did I.) Thank heaven for older brothers. Kevin has informed me that it comes from a bit by Eddie Izzard, a fine comedic bloke. Here’s the source:

Lay person: Father, I have committed an original sin. I have poke a
badger with a spoon.
Priest: Well done! I’ve never heard that one before. You have indeed
committed an original sin.

Lay person 2: Father, forgive me for I have sin. I slept with my neighbors’ wife.
Priest: Heard it!

I still say if you like random comedy, you’ll like Pete & Pete. But this leads me to other random quotes that I’ve liked before, but now wonder if they have some hidden meaning I wasn’t familiar with before. For example, “Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me… can’t sleep clowns will eat me…” etc, etc, etc. Anyone know?

I think I’ve finally decided to quit watching the news, it just makes me way too mad. Get ready:

So I was watching BBC World News and they were covering the latest corporate scandals; WorldCom and Xerox. A couple billion dollars magically appeared and now Xerox is finally telling the truth; that it was all that ruddy Fairy Godmother. Poof, we had 2 billion. Poof, whoops it’s gone. Okay, so they fudged, and I agree they should pay the price. As for WorldCom, don’t get me started.


Anyway. They showed a bit about how the Democratic party is trying to lay the pressure on Republicans, saying it’s all their fault, yadda yadda. And you know what the Democratic guy said? “Businesses have been lying and cheating over the past eight years.” Um, excuse me, but who’s been in control of the White House for the past eight years? A democrat, that’s who. According to Edward Chancellor, who also appeared on BBC World News, President Clinton refused to adequately fund the Securities and Exchange Commission, thus leading to a lack of resources. Which lead to them not being able to be quite the financial police that we thought they were. And now the Democrats are trying to blame this on Republicans. Do they really expect us to be that stupid? Yes, they do, and yes, a lot of us are.

Before I go any farther, I’m not affiliated with either party, cause I think they’re both so skewed that they end up alike in so many ways that it’s impossible to tell the two apart anymore. There are bits I don’t like about both parties, and bits I like. As for President Bush and President Clinton, I think Bush has some problems but he’s made a better president than Gore would have. I also think he’s getting blamed for a lot of Clinton’s major booboos, which is completely unfair. And as for Clinton, he’s a dipwad. A major grade A, 100%, sure-fire dipwad.

On with the rant. So, the Democrats are pointing at the Republicans. Why? If you want to point party fingers, let’s point them where they belong. It’s your own party’s fault for ignoring the big businesses by ignoring the economy and ignoring the commissions that are in place to protect us from these things.


But are White House administrations and political parties always to blame in these situations? Are they seriously supposed to be the worldwide police of *everything*? I remember I had to read a ridiculous history book for a college course, and the author claimed that Harry Truman was to blame for everything that happened in the 60s, all because he screwed up in the 50s. Everything. He didn’t stop at a single problem. He could probably try and blame Truman for El Nino. Is an administration supposed to solve everything? No. Then, if it’s not supposed to solve everything, how can it be to blame for everything? It can’t.

The fact is, the only people to blame in these corporate scandals are the corporations. They didn’t have to answer directly to the President. Their accountants screwed up. The CEOs and CFOs got greedy and tried to fudge the books. Mr. Chancellor went on to say that these problems with Xerox were foreseeable as far back as 97 and 98, and possibly even farther back. These corporations have been fudging for a long time. They have transcended political parties, and now the Republicans, in particular President Bush, are getting blamed for things that have nothing to do with them in general. Yes, Clinton messed up by playing with the Securities and Exchange Commission. Is that really such a big surprise? That entire family is worthy of suspicion where money is concerned. But Bill Clinton is not directly responsible, he did not coerce these companies into lying. President Bush isn’t directly responsible either. Did he go into their accountants’ offices and demand that they make up $2 billion dollars in revenue for the sake of the market? No. It’s all just stupid. And it’s one more nail in the coffin for my opinion of the Democratic party that they’d stoop so low as to point more fingers when this doesn’t come down to a party issue. It’s all about greed.

And another reason why I don’t want to watch the news anymore: Have you heard about what’s going on in Zimbabwe? Holy crap. If there’s any compelling evidence of how humanitarian funds are wasted, it’s this. I completely agree that the people need it; they’re on the brink of starvation. But it’s their own government’s fault. They didn’t really choose their government, true (I remember that big scandal a few months ago with President Mungabe’s(sp?) ‘election’), but their leaders are the ones to blame. The government has shut down farms in Zimbabwe, all because they’re owned by white farmers. To get back at the whites they’re killing their own people. And in order to save their own people, they’re begging white people for aid. Where is the sense in this? Their people lose jobs, their people lose food, and they will lose their lives. White people are not the enemy here, farmers are not the enemy. Maybe I don’t know, maybe the farming conditions have been bad. It doesn’t seem that way. But even if they are, don’t shut down the farms. Transfer power to more suitable farmers. Don’t take away the food, then expect the rest of the world to sacrifice humanitarian aid that could be used in countries that need it because of real reasons, not because their government is corrupt. Send the aid to the people in Zimbabwe, but just as importantly, fix the stupid government and get those farms going again.

See why I don’t watch the news? And people wonder why I’m never up to date on world news. It’s because I get too dang passionate about it and I forget that I have ulcers. (Haha, I sound old.) If I keep watching the news I’m going to have a heart attack before I’m 20, and then what good would I be? 🙂