I came to a realization earlier this evening. My brother Kevin came over for dinner and to watch the classic Talking Heads movie ‘True Stories’. Kevin, Steven, and I were sitting in the basement waiting for our parents to join us and somehow we got on the topic of the show ‘The Office’. Kevin insists that it’s the funniest show ever, and Steven contends that it’s stupid. I’m kind of wishy-washy on the issue – I haven’t seen enough of it to judge either way, but the one episode I did see didn’t have me rolling on the floor with laughter. That in turn brought up the movie ‘Office Space’. I’m ashamed to say I’ve seen that movie. For the longest time I had only seen one R rated movie in my whole life, and I was fine with it: I saw ‘Schindler’s List’. It was worth it. I saw it because I was going to go to a concentration camp, I was studying the Holocaust, and ‘Schindler’s List’ really brought it to life for me.

But ‘Office Space’ was a waste for me. Why? I didn’t learn anything from it. It had no overall point. And worse, it was rated R for no reason whatsoever. If their mothers had just washed their mouths out with soap more often, it could have been a PG-13 without sacrificing any of the story. It was unnecessary vulgarity. I wish I hadn’t seen it, but at the time I was out-voted by my ex-boyfriend and this other girl that was staying with me and it just wasn’t a comfortable situation at *all*.

Anyway. Apart from the vulgar, pointless language, I didn’t find the movie funny. It might have been because I was torked at my then-boyfriend (he knew perfectly well how I felt about such language and how it affects me), but I think there’s something more to it. I’m not too keen on ‘The Office’, I didn’t find ‘Office Space’ funny. Rather, I think they’re both too sad to be funny. They aren’t even sadly funny. Just plain sad. Why? Because cubicles are my own version of hell on earth. Believe me, if I ever had to put up with working in a cubicle, I would lose my mind. I know this is supposed to be part of the joke in both of these comedies, but I just couldn’t get past the horror of it to find it funny.

So, my realization is this: a lot of people call me remarkable or amazing that I do such insane things as boycott companies, start my own non-profits, and set up meetings with European royalty. But you know what? This is normal for me – it’s what everyone else calls normal that scares the crap out of me. You people are remarkable to me because, you know what? I couldn’t survive doing what you’re doing. I can’t stand the 9-to-5, I can’t stand little gray boxes that are surrounded by other teensy little gray boxes. I would go certifiably insane in that situation. All I’m doing with my life, in being as strange as I am, is so that I can avoid a “normal” life. That’s not remarkable; that’s constructive escapism. If I can’t survive in one environment, I’ll make my own out of pretty boycotts and TV shows. Yes, that’s out of the ordinary for most other people, but not for me.

As I was saying way up there before this big diatribe about abnormality, we watched ‘True Stories’ tonight. That is one odd, beautiful movie. I can’t even describe it, just watch it. It’s odd. It’s about Texas. And it has David Byrne in a cowboy hat. What could be better?

You know, I really wish I could sing in a jazz/blues. That’s one of my big goals in life. Not to really be with a band for a long time, I just want to perform for one night. But apparently, I’m banned from singing the blues… (check out the September 26th entry.) This really saddens me. I’ve always wanted to get up in front of a microphone in that oh-so-perfect black satin dress and just wail all my troubles away. The closest I’ve come was singing “Ain’t Got Nothin’ But the Blues”, but that was just with a piano for accompaniment and it was for a church function, so I couldn’t *really* belt it the way I wanted to. But at least I got to wear black and put on some deep red lipstick. I still want that full band, though. Maybe I could just temporarily change my name from Heather for a night or so, that way I can legally sing the blues. Or hey, since it’d be an illegal performance, wouldn’t that be more bluesy? 🙂

What brought that on? Listening to the Preservation Hall Jazz Band and also “I Wish I knew How it Would Feel to be Free”. I just love that style of music. Heather or no Heather, I’m probably still too white to sing that latter song… *sigh* 🙂

You know what else I’d like to do? Spanish dancing complete with castanets. I don’t think I have a single ounce of Spanish in me, but I really want to do it. I’ve been listening to ‘Amado Mio’ and ‘Quizas Quizas Quizas’, and believe me I’ve worn myself out trying to dance like that in what little space I have in my bedroom. (Yes, I’ll admit it, I dance my heart out when the doors are shut [and locked].) See, if the whole Princess TV show works out, I want to move on to a few other TV show ideas I have. One thing that I’d love to do is bring back Walt Disney’s old occasional series that was part of the Disneyland show. They’d have specific episodes set aside for something called ‘Adventures in Art’. I really want to resurrect that as its own show. We could cover everything, especially music and dancing. It would be fabulous. Aimed at kids, making art and culture fun and enticing by getting involved in it and immersing myself in the various processes of creating a variety of art. Part of that would be singing the blues (probably not me doing the singing), dancing to something like ‘Amado Mio’ (the jury’s still out on whether or not I’ll do the dancing.) It would be fun. Trust me. If nothing else, I’d have lots of fun making a show like that. 🙂

I’ve updated the Links page at long last to include my new favorite blogs. Take a look and browse around, won’t you?

And finally,



Which OS are You?