I think my nervousness has turned into the flu. I was half expecting this, since several of my family members have had the flu. And I tried so hard to avoid it… I’ve been eating vitamin C like candy, taking care of myself, exercising, the whole works. But like always, I’m the last one to get it. It hit this afternoon around three-something o’clock (very precise timing on my part, don’t you think?) But you know what *really* stinks? If it had just waited one day, one little day, I would have been able to go to the movies tonight. I was all geared up to go see ‘Bend It Like Beckham” with Stephen this evening, but I spiked a fever, got really woozy, and got the worst stomach ache I’ve had in a long time. I tried really hard for the following hour (until precisely four-something o’clock), trying to convince myself that I’d survive, I could drive to where Steve lives, we could go to the movies, and everything would be fine. You know, ‘It’s no biggie, you’re just nervous again, that’s all. It’s not the flu. Honest it’s not.” Ha. It’s a really good thing that I rarely listen to the voices in my head. Right when the movie would have started, I spiked another fever and got incredibly loopy. Everything got real funny real fast.

But I still feel bad about pulling out on poor Steve like that. That was the second time we’ve gone to see ‘Bend It Like Beckham’ and failed. I felt pretty miserable about that. Once I’m feeling better and everything’s calmed down, I think I’m going to have to host a big movie party for Steve, get some pizza, rent that movie, and watch it on the big TV in the basement. And dang it, nothing better go wrong, or so help me, I’ll be forced to do something not so pretty. But I’m not awake enough to come up with a better ‘forced to’ line than that, so think one up yourself.

Nothing to report on the Phone Tag With The Prince front. Trying again tomorrow, Translating Drews a dear, yadda yadda, we’ve heard it all before. I’ll announce it when it happens.

Oh, I did get a lawyer today. Cool, huh? Translating Drew found a very lovely lawyer for me who specializes in contract negotiations, which is oh so very convenient since that’s what I want his help for. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet today. I’ve been too loopy to talk business. If I’m feeling any better tomorrow I think I’ll call him then and talk things over.

I think the stress is getting to me. I need to learn to relax and not let it get to me so much. Anyone have any ideas? I used to think I was so good at handling stress, but I guess I’m not good at handling the kind of stress that comes with business or setting up the rest of my life. You know, that big kind of stress. I could handle medical-crisis stress, even temporary insane business campaign stress, but apparently it’s the possibility of being in it for the long-haul that worries me so much. Maybe cause I want it so badly.

To escape, calm down, and try to battle the flu, I went back to my old plan of watching movies, which always worked for those other types of stress. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been watching way too many movies over the past few weeks. Well, that’s why. Today I watched a fascinating movie with Katharine Hepburn, Montgomery Clift, and Elizabeth Taylor: “Suddenly, Last Summer”. Fabulous, fabulous movie written by Tennessee Williams. You’ve got to watch it if you like a good puzzle and a bucketload of insane people. One of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time, I’d say.


I also watched ‘The Monkey’s Uncle’, the sequel to ‘The Misadventures of Merlin Jones’. Goofy, stupid, but fun nonetheless.

Survivor made me mad tonight too. If you’ve seen it, this’ll make sense. If not, oh well, I never said anything on here would make sense anyway. I thought it was really unfair what Mark Burnett pulled at the Immunity Challenge. Who *wouldn’t* have picked Rupert?! Gaaagh, I think that was just a stupid, sick, manipulative ploy by Mark to try and pull something over on the Drake tribe. Thankfully, Jon’s not *as* stupid as I thought he was. He can at least do simple math to figure out which alliance has and will maintain the majority. Good boy, Jon, you deserve a cookie. But you can shut up now, you’re annoying, please go away.

Hehe, okay, sorry, I’ve been trying to keep my mouth shut about Survivor for the past few weeks and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m too loopy and too mad at Mark Burnett at all the same time to keep my mouth shut. And is it just me or is the Probster getting sassier this time around?

Enough of the silliness. I think I’d better get some sleep. Looks like I can sleep in again tomorrow, if I can. For so many nights in a row I’ve been woken up by the most obnoxious dreams. Last night, I was woken up five times by the same dream, just with different details. It’s always about me being woken up by my cell phone ringing, me dashing for the phone, and then hearing Drew’s voice. He always says something awful, like in one dream where he said, “I’m sorry, the Count hates you, thinks you’re horrible, and wouldn’t adopt you for all the tea in China.” The dreams are so real that I’m startled awake and I have to grasp for the phone to check the call log to see if that was really him. Then after about twenty minutes of trying to get my heart to calm down, I finally fall back asleep, only to be met by a similar dream.

GAGH! I’ve got to stop talking about it, thinking about it, everything, or I’ll never sleep. I know, I’ll think of the lovely mp3 collection that my new friend Lelo’s sending to me… mmm, new music! Huzzah! Lelo completely agrees with me that a girl definitely needs more than 9gigs of music, and he has so chivalrously agreed to help this damsel in geek-distress. It also helps that Sir Lelo’s a DJ and has a collection more than three times the size of mine. 😀

On that happy note, I think I’ll go to bed now and end this masquerade of dottiness. Ta-ta!