I saw this commercial last night for the 2004 Mitsubishi Galant. Normally I wouldn’t be posting anything about a Mitsubishi, except that the commercial had really great music. It was a commercial about all these people waving at the new Galant, only to find out that they were actually waving at a seriously cute little boy who was sitting in the back seat.


Funny how these commercials are remarkably similar to beer commercials which only serve to prove that beer does, in fact, make you behave quite stupidly. Meaning, it’s a negative implication against the product, and yet it’s so cute it somehow serves to advertise the product… Odd phenomena in the advertising world. But, in this case, it only goes to show that when you’re driving a Mitsubishi and you suddenly realize that people are turning their heads to stare at you, it isn’t your car they’re staring at. No, it’s something else. Actually, if you don’t have an adorable waving kid in the backseat, you might want to double check that your coat isn’t stuck in the door, flapping along the roadway for all the motoring world to see. Or, heck, go ahead and check that backseat – maybe they’re trying to tell us there’s an army of very personable toddlers invading the backseats of America’s automobiles.


Anyway, marketing methods aside, the song was pretty. Since I don’t listen to the radio at all, I’m usually not too quick to pick up on the latest music trends. So, I searched on Google hoping to find the song by commercial association. Usually that works, but not in this case. However, my search eventually brought me to Mitsubishi’s website where I was quickly distracted by a blinking little button that told me I could win $25,000 and a new Mitsubishi. All I had to do was fill out a form, and better yet, if I went to test drive a new Galant, I could get an American Express gift card worth $25 for free. So, being a sucker for free money, I signed up. I printed out a little certificate, and I went to Carmax today to fulfill my part of the bargain.


At 6:30pm, in the pitch black bitter cold, I drove a Mitsubishi. First time, actually, and I have to say, it was even worse than my expectations. I’m sorry, I never realized I was so spoiled. I didn’t really think there’d be *that* much of a difference between a BMW and a Mitsubishi. I mean, everyone’s always telling me that as far as Asian cars go, Mitsubishi’s in the top two, narrowly behind Nissan. (Not counting the luxury Asian cars, of course.) In all honesty, I didn’t think it would be that bad.


First off, I think the designers tried to hard to fool me into thinking the Galant is a safe car. Why does the curtain frame around the windshield have to be so freaking huge? It creates a gigantic blindspot that is seriously dangerous. I could barely see as I turned onto a big highway. Very scary. I kind of figured that for the price of the car – $20,000 – it would at least have side airbags. Nope, no side or curtain airbags. Too bad, really. It’s funny that the cars that really should have airbags due to their structural imperfections are usually the cars that don’t have airbags. BMW, they’re so structurally sound that they really probably don’t *need* all the airbags they have, and yet they keep adding more. Did you know that on the new 2004 models, they even have knee airbags? Not only will the cabin maintain its integrity, but it’s providing extra cushioning just in case. How very thoughtful of them.


But anyway, back to the Galant. Does anyone know when car manufacturers decided to make the gas pedal come down from the top, rather than grounding it on the floor of the car? That really bothers me – my foot kept slipping off. For goodness sake, I drive barefoot, I can’t imagine what would happen with shoes on. I don’t understand the reasoning behind it; it limits your control over acceleration, it’s easy to get your foot caught underneath it after releasing the brake pedal, and… it’s just so ickle. There’s no power there, I feel like if I press too hard I’ll snap the darn thing right off. Is there some benefit to this design that I’m missing? All I can say is I’m very, very glad Germans are keeping their gas pedals attached on the floor so I can rest my entire foot on that pedal. It’s so much more comfortable.


To sum up, I could feel every bump on the road in that stupid car, it was too easy to accidentally knock the gear shift around (if you can move it without pressing the button, what’s the point of having the button there at all?), it felt like there was no sound insulation at all, it wouldn’t take off, the brakes were horrid, I could wiggle the steering wheel like mad without the car even twitching, the stereo stunk big time, and for the first time in my life I actually felt too tall for a car. I literally couldn’t lean forward at all without hitting my head on the roof. Now, I’m no engineer, but wouldn’t that be an extra safety concern if I were to be in an accident? I’m only 5’6″ and a smidge, I’m not an amazon! I can’t imagine I’m *that* much taller than your typical Asian woman…


*sigh* I tried, I really did try. I was going to give them the benefit of the doubt, since they were giving me $25. Are Nissans truly any better? Should I try them, or am I just going to be disappointed again? Do they have that dorky little teardrop gas pedal? Do they use recycled steel? Do they take off at all? Do they give you that instant thrill that crawls up your spine and into your heart when you really pick up and go? Does the engine purr at you? Do you feel confident inside that if something horrible were to happen your car would care enough about you to keep you alive? I’m so glad I have my car, I really do love it for that reason. Case in point, I almost got smashed by two Honda drivers today in two different situations, and even though I was frightened, I had the confidence to be able to swerve out of the way just in time. I knew my car could handle the maneuver without straining, and should the worst happen, I knew I’d be okay.


Oh well. I suppose I can live with the disappointment since they’re going to give me $25. Also, there was some instant gratification involved: I ended up finding the song that started this whole thing when I saw that commercial last night. As part of the “thank you” for risking my life in a Mitsubishi, they gave me a CD full of songs from their commercials, the last of which was the one I heard last night. That was very nice of them, I thought. On the way home I put it in my CD player, cranked up my good ole’ German stereo system, and gratefully sank my foot against that gas pedal and took off when the light turned green. It was great.


And by the way, the song was ‘Do You Realize?’ by The Flaming Lips. Isn’t that a great name for a band? (Almost as good as my favorite, “Fragile Pies.” I swear, one day, I will have a band and that will be its name.) Anyway, I know absolutely nothing about The Flaming Lips, but the song’s pretty. Please don’t tell me they’re some icky “It” teeny-bopper band, it’ll spoil all my fun. 🙂