So secret, in fact, I didn’t even know about him. Apparently, his name is Jeff. How is it that Google knew about this before I did? I swear, I’m always the last to hear about everything… 🙂
But seriously, someone found my blog by searching on Google for “Jeff is Heather’s boyfriend”, and guess what. I’m result number five. How weird is that? I’ve pretty much decided that Google is now dabbling in prophesy, and it seems to think that I will at some point become involved with a man named Jeff. I wonder where this Jeff will come from… It’s not like I know any Jeffs at the moment. I wonder if Google will tell me what he looks like. Let’s do an image search!
Blast. Unfortunately the all-seeing-eye of Google will not allow me to catch a glimpse of my future Jeff. How does Google expect me to recognize the face of my future beau if it won’t even give me any hints? Or perhaps it is leaving our first meeting to fate. I do hope he’s a very romantic Jeff. I can’t say I have any experience to guide my expectations; by and large, are Jeff’s sensitive fellows? Are they trustworthy? When at a Jeff convention, is the ambience full of jovial laughter and intelligent conversation? Oh, I do hope so.
I also wish Google would tell me when to expect this Future Jeff. I’d like to plan accordingly if our meeting is so incredibly important that Google has seen fit to foretell of it. I’d hate to disappoint the Google Gods. Alas, Future Jeff, where are you now?
Man, I love Google. 🙂
I know two Jeffs.
One is gay.
The other is kinda cool.
Good luck.
I have a Jeff friend. He’s really tall, he’s a microbiologist or a biochemist or something like that, and he’s a great guy. Totally incompatible with you, I’m sure, and already married, but a great guy nonetheless.
I have a friend named Jeff. He’s probably the flakiest guy I know, but girls love him.
You are also result 6 for Sara+is+Heather’s+girlfriend
Not that I’m insinating anything, I’m just saying.
Levi – Aww, too bad your Jeff is already married. I wouldn’t mind being married to a microbiologist. Actually sounds like fun for a change.
Jeff’s Friend – He’s flaky? He should try Head & Shoulders. (ha ha… sorry, bad joke.) But the most important question is, is he cute? 🙂
Steve – That doesn’t have to insinuate anything; I have a good friend named Sara, she’s 14, and cute as a button. Girls can call their friends ‘girlfriends’ and it’s perfectly accetable.
Of course, I’m also result number one and two for “Richard Branson is Heather’s boyfriend”, as well as several other names. Apparently I have multiple secret boyfriends. I’m such a cheat!
I see. Well I guess that explains the whole Sara thing. Now my question is, do you have any girl friends who are 24 and cute as a button 🙂
Has anyone considered that “Jeff” may actually be an expanse of self-aware interstellar gas, trying desperately to make some form of contact?
This could have enormous impacts on things as arcane as the price of Wheaties, or the next American Midol!
SmarmyOtter – Jeff’s an expanse of self-aware interstellar gas? How can I have a boyfriend that’s nothing but gas? For goodness sake, I could never light a candle for ambience, it’d be rather hard to cuddle, and besides that, how does an expanse of gas get dressed up to take me out on a Friday night? 🙂
Hehe… American Midol… you should suggest that as a campaign for Midol, that’d be hilarious.