I don’t know what did it. Maybe it was Happy Bunny, maybe it was one trip too many to Lush, maybe it was a repressed clump of estrogen. Whatever it was, on February 7th I went positively pink with girliness.
Because my birthday this year was on a Sunday, and because I – as a Mormon – don’t go shopping on the sabbath, I decided to pretend that my birthday was on Saturday, to allow for my day of birthday extravagence. My Mom and I went out to lunch at Sweetwater (naturally), and it was absolutely perfect. The ozzie rolls couldn’t have been better, the burger was pure meat bliss, and the chocolate waffle was to die for. After that, I decided I wanted to stop by Nordstrom Rack to buy a nice pretty new shirt to wear to church on my birthday. That one stop at Nordstrom Rack turned into seven straight hours of shopping.
I know, I’m as blown away by it as you are.
Normally I really don’t like shopping all that much. It’s exhausting, expensive, and rather disheartening at times. But for some reason I really got into it. I didn’t get anything at Nordstrom Rack, which was rather upsetting because I really wanted something “sparkly” to wear. That, in unto itself, should have been a huge warning sign. I hate “sparkly” unless it’s made up of platinum, diamonds, or gemstones. Anything else just looks silly. Like rhinestones; not my cup of tea.
Having not been successful at Nordstrom Rack, my Mom suggested we go to Hecht’s (funny name for a department store, I know), because apparently there are sales around this time of year. Oh boy were there ever! We walked in and found *huge* racks of all sorts of lovely things at 75% off discounts! I got over my phobia of shopping and went nuts. I should say, I suppose, I went nuts with being girly, not necessarily nuts that I bought more than I should have.
I went through the clothes racks and suddenly found myself doing something that shocked me. I actually went looking for pink. I’ve never really been much of a purveyor of pink before. I’ve never really been that much of a girly-girl. Sure, I like make-up occasionally; sure, I like pretty dresses; sure, I do find myself in random fits of giggles at various times in my life. But for the past eight years or so I’ve never really been much of a girly-girl in the sense that I swoon over “hot guys”, wear pinks and pastels, or chit-chat with my girly friends at the mall. It’s just not me. And yet suddenly I found myself taking the pink plunge.
After piling up my shopping cart with blouse after blouse after blouse – mostly in pinks or various other bright colors in an array of silks – I decided to head for the fitting rooms. Unfortunately Hecht’s only allows three items at a time in their fitting rooms, and I wasn’t about to slowly weed through my mountain of clothing. It would have taken hours to do it that way. So instead I went back through everything with a discerning eye and selected only the few items I was fairly certain would fit and look nice. I ended up with about 20 blouses, I think. Don’t gag, I had every intention of returning about two thirds of that. I’d buy them now, try them on at home, and return what I didn’t like. It’s more fun that way.
Most of the silk blouses ended up costing between $5 and $10, so I was really pleased. But that wasn’t the most exciting bit. Nope, they also had hats and handbags on sale! Hurrah! (I can feel the estrogen resurfacing now, and I think it might be making me sick.) I tried on two pink hats, which I ended up wearing around the store for a while (one at a time, of course). It totally clashed with my outfit, but I didn’t care; hats are empowering. I don’t know why, they just are. Especially when they’re pink.
Now I’m slightly worried that Sweetwater spiked the root beer with something. Only four days later and this sounds ridiculous.
Both of the hats were abot $6 a piece and too cute not to get. After playing with the hats, I looked to my left and noticed positively huge tables chock-full of cute little handbags. I found one absolutely gorgeous flat leather handbag that was perfectly stylish. That was $12. Then, for the sake of fun, I bought a funny purse that looks just like a cigar box. It has a bamboo handle, a little bit of beadwork on one side, and even has a little surgeon general’s warning along the top. It’s really hilarious. Just to top it all off, the inside is lined in faux fuzzy leopard skin. I know that sounds tacky, but it’s really funny, honest. It’s that same sort of feeling as wearing really elaborate, outrageous, ridiculous underwear – you know it’s there, you know it’s funny, but no one else knows. It’s like having a really great secret that just makes you laugh. So I was very pleased when I saw the leopard print inside. It’s one of those things I’d never wear or have on me, which only makes the secret greater.
Mom wasn’t too sure what she thought of me carrying a cigar box purse, but honestly, I just think it’s funny. I think I’m even going to take it with me to church next Sunday. 🙂
Let’s see, what else did I get… Oh! I also managed to find a *gorgeous* real suede skirt that went down past my knees and kind of flares out nicely. It looks amazing, if I do say so myself. The best part is, it was originally priced at $118 – I got it for $20!
After Hecht’s I decided that, since I was already at the mall, I might as well go check out Claire’s and Hot Topic. Just to set your fears at ease, no, I didn’t become girly enough to actually shop at Claire’s in the way you might expect. No, instead I went there with a purpose: to find Happy Bunny. I had read about this big scandal where people are protesting the mass marketing of the It’s Happy Bunny line, as well as its co-conspirators, David & Goliath’s “Boys Are Stupid” products.Honestly, I don’t see what all the hullaballoo is about – both of those products have been at Hot Topic for years. They’re finally reaching a wider market, being sold at places like Claire’s and even a few department stores. I think they’re rather funny; they’re meant to be stupid, that’s the whole point. But some people seem to think that if an 8-year-old girl buys a pair of socks that says in cartoon captions, “Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them”, that they’ll actually be urged on to violence towards men. For goodness sake, these products are meant to be jokes, they’re stupid, they’re ridiculous if you look at them. And I must say, it’s a heck of a lot better than other things marketed to 8-year-old girls; what about the thongs for seven year olds that Claire’s was selling last year, with things like “Eye Candy” written on them? Now *that’s* sick.
Anyway, I’ve been a fan of Happy Bunny and Boys Are Stupid for ages. I own a few products from both lines, and I wanted to stop by Claire’s and see what they had to offer. Turns out Claire’s had some really great stuff – I got a Happy Bunny patch that says, “It’s cute how stupid you are”, as well as a fabulous baseball cap that has a little cartoon boy on it, and then written in small print on the brim is, “Boys are smelly!” It’s hilarious, I think, and not bad for only $10. Besides, it’s just plain fun and makes me smile. What’s wrong with that?
After Claire’s, I walked down the mall to Hot Topic, bounced to the music, giggled at the new vintage Nintendo shirts (I want one!!), was shocked to see they’re carrying Fairly Odd Parents merchandise (other people like it too! I’m not alone after all!), and talked with the dyed-hair pierced-everything employees. I love that place, just the juxtaposition of the harshness of the environment, mixed with the kindness of the employees and everyone in there. It’s automatic, as soon as you walk in, even if you’re as white and preppy as I always seem to look, you’re accepted, people smile at you, and suddenly you have five new best friends. Fun, fun, fun! I asked one of my new pierced best friends if they still had any Nightmare Before Christmas merchandise, and their little faces lit up and they were all excited to show me that most of it was real cheap on the clearance rack.
How could I resist? 🙂
Actually, I’ve been waiting for a few months now for most of this stuff to end up on the clearance rack, so I felt perfectly justified in buying it. I got a funny little notebook set where the notebook is in the shape of a coffin; I bought a tiny notecard set; and a great gray t-shirt with black stripes on the arms, and a picture of Jack Skellington on the front, and on the back it says, “That’s right… I AM the pumpkin king!” It’s great, I love it! It’s my new favorite shirt. In fact, I have it on right now.
I figure buying all of this borderline goth/punk stuff kind of evened out the earlier foray into pink paradise, don’t you? After that, Mom and I went out to Target to pick up some valentines for the birthday party activity we were planning for Sunday night. Everything was all well and good, I was in the best mood ever, when suddenly as I was walking across the parking lot I hit a patch of ice that was barely visible. It felt like I was in a cartoon: I could see my legs going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, I knew I was going to fall, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Then suddenly, BAM! I found myself on my butt, my right shoe had flown off and tumbled a few feet away from me, and I had a seering pain in my hip. I tried to pull myself up but couldn’t manage to do it, so I slid myself as far as I could to try and get out of the road. Thankfully the drivers around me saw what happened and decided to be thoughtful and not run me over. I even heard someone go, “Ooooooh, that’s gotta hurt!” as I fell.
I finally picked myself up, hobbled around Target, and managed to find the valentines I went in there to get. I also got a Harry Connick, Jr CD as an Owie I Fell On My Butt present.
Once I got home, I sat down for a while before trying on my mounds of new clothes. I had to give my hip some time to cool down. Eventually, at 9:00 at night I dug into the pile and ended up keeping only five shirts out of the twenty or thirty I’d brought home. I also tried on that suede skirt and was happily prancing around the room in it when I realized that they had forgotten to take the big huge magnetic security tag off of it.
I was rather frantic, because I had my heart set on wearing it to church the next day. I quickly called Hecht’s to ask how late they’d be open, and much to my relief they said they didn’t close until 11:00. I explained what happened, the lady apologized profusely, and said to just bring the skirt in and they’d remove the tag ASAP. Unfortunately my Mom had taken the car out at just that moment to run to Home Depot, so I waited anxiously for her to get back. At 9:30 she returned, and out we went straight back to the mall. As I was walking into Hecht’s, I told Mom about the phone conversation and right as we passed through the doors, the security tag made the scanners beep. We were immediately followed by a store employee who called to me and said, “Hey, did you just call about a security tag?”
Turned out I just happened to walk into just the right door, where the lady I talked to on the phone was outside having a smoke break. She apologized profusely, took me over to a counter, removed the tag, and said, “I’m so sorry; if you’d like to buy anything else, I’d love to get you an extra 20% off to make up for the trouble.”
20% off!? More?! Huzzah! Mom and I sped through the store and I knew exactly what I wanted – earlier that day I’d spotted this cute little Nine West leather handbag that was just way too cute. It was from the monogram line, which is apparently very in this season (who knew?). Anyway, I wanted one with an M on it – for “Meg”. I’d get an H, but no one seems to be carrying H monograms. But, earlier this afternoon, the bag would have been about $25 or so, and that was just too expensive for a bag that I just thought was funny. With all the additional discounts, the bag ended up being only $15. I was so proud of myself!
On the way back to the register, something bright pink caught my eye. Guess what it was. “Boys are Stupid” pink socks!! I was so happy! It was the perfect blend of the girly and the punk, I had to have them. It was the crowning glory to the day’s events. They’re bright pink with blue toes and heels, and they’re coated in this goofy stick drawing of a boy, and says, “Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.” They were $3 after all the discounts, and they make me smile.
So there you have it, my Saturday birthday adventures. I’d cover what we did on Sunday, but this entry is already long enough. The next post will chronicle the exciting adventures of spaghetti, pink table cloths, cute Mormon missionaries, and birthday cake, all in one event! Can’t you just feel the suspense? 🙂
Hi Heather,
I
Heather, was your favorite bartender at Sweetwater serving up rootbeer?
Mark – I appreciate your concerns, and I too saw some things at the David & Goliath website that I didn’t think were appropriate at all. But, those things aren’t mass-marketed and therefore are not addressed by the “scandal.” So, even though I do not approve of those particular items, I don’t see too much of an issue with the “Boys are Stupid” shirts.
Why? Because I’ve talked with a *lot* of young boys about these items, and you know what? They own boys are stupid merchandise as well. All of the ones I’ve talked to – boys from all walks of life, with all emotional states – don’t have a problem with it and actually think it’s funny.
I don’t see why the items shouldn’t be sold. If people don’t like them, they don’t have to buy them. What I mean is, it doesn’t warrant the scale of the scandal. I’m fine if people disagree with me, that’s their right, but I don’t think it should be to that scale. Why? Because yes, there are items out there that are anti-female that are worn by teenage boys.
Furthermore, there are anti-female items being sold to girls. What do you think the true psychological effects are of marketing playboy bunny shirts to little girls? Why is it that some stores in the malls are selling tshirts to boys with symbols representing chauvinistic and violent sexual activities? Why is it that no one else is outraged when they see a five-year-old girl wearing a revealing low-cut, off the shoulder skinny-tee that says “eye candy”? With all of this blatantly sexual marketing to little children, I’d much rather have my own young girl (if I had one) think boys are smelly than to have them wanting to grow up to be the next playboy playmate.
For girls to think boys are smelly or boys have cooties is a natural stage. Yes, I’ll admit, maybe the “boys are stupid” aspect of the line could go over-the-top in some situations. But you know what? To 8-year-old girls, it’s a natural phase to think boys are smelly. To me, that’s much better than pandering to pedophiliac over-sexualization at prepubescent ages.
I guess my problem with this issue is, why this? Why this product? Why are we suddenly so worried about little boys, when we’re already shoving sex onto them at such young ages? The boys are just as adversely effected by the seven-year-old girls in thongs as the girls themselves are. I think, honestly, if we’d all just coordinate our efforts to get rid of the prepubscent sexual marketing, the “boys are smelly” line would go away. I just see it as an answer to the playboy playmate attitude.
Renee – No, sadly Dave the Bartender wasn’t there. 🙁
My two cents on the whole t-shirt thing:
For aeons women have had to take a back seat to power, while the men made all the rules, and/or took all the credit.
So girls/women get a little venting time, showing their actual superiority in the form of a (self-admittedly) silly t-shirt.
Should we burn Charles Schultz in effigy because Lucy pulls the football away from Charlie Brown at the last minute (possibly fracturing his spine)?
No we should not, because it is a cartoon that speaks to the endless battle of the sexes. We laugh because Charlie is so gullible, and Lucy is so predictably conniving, and he falls for it every time.
Similarly,when the Roadrunner makes the Coyote fall to his doom off of a cliff, we laugh because it is silly and it is a cartoon. We do not write letters complaining that this will escalate a backlash against Roadrunners (real or celluloid).
I think Eminim’s music is racist and homophobic, but I do believe he has the right to say what he wants, even if it is in the form of music- I just won’t buy his products.
Then again, Eminim is real (sort of), and the t-shirt depicts a cartoon.
There is so much violence out there against women, that to get riled up about this silly shirt is just plain absurd. It is energy that could be much better spent.
Don’t like the Stupid Factory t-shirt: don’t buy it, and instead make a donation to your local battered women shelter!
SmarmyOtter
Heather, I remember hearing a bit of fuss about the ‘eye candy’ stuff. I’m pretty out of touch with the fashion world, so I don’t know how that fuss compares to the ‘boys are stupid’ stuff, but there’s at least some level of complaint over the other the things you mention. I agree with you, though, that the sexual clothing for young girls is far, far worse than silly insults to boys.
SmarmyOtter, there actually have been a lot of protests against Warner Brothers’ cartoons, especially Road Runner ones. A lot of the more violent ones no longer air on TV. No one complained it’d create violence towards roadrunners (though PETA may have, on second thought), but they did complain that it created violence in general. I think it’s bunk, but that’s me, and obviously there were enough people in disagreement with me to get some of the shows pulled.
Anyway, I say let people buy what they want to buy. On the other hand, I am not opposed to dress codes at schools that would disallow wearing them. There are plenty of ways to show your individuality without looking like a slut or wearing clothes that even jokingly insult people.
I love the cigar box purses! Oh, you’ve made me want to shop now. Good thing I’ll be at an outlet mall tommorrow.
Yes, I know there were some scandals about the playboy bunny shirts and that sort of thing, what I meant was why is there so much furor over the “boys are smelly” stuff in relation to the over-sexualization of little girls? “Boys are Smelly” is actually being removed from stores, whereas only a few thongs were discontinued, they’re still selling blatantly sexual things to little girls everywhere, and those scandals don’t seem as important. They don’t get the same media attention, and therefore don’t have as great an impact.
I think it has a lot more to do with what Douglas brought up, the male power in society. I don’t mean to sound like a conspiracy theorist or anything, but there’s no other reason psychologically to dress little girls in such things than to appease men. I see it as America following the pattern established in Japan – they started doing the same thing through children’s clothing and cartoons decades ago, and now they have an absolutely deplorable rate of pedophiliac abuse and rape. To me, that’s worthy of far more furor in our society than a goofy little cartoon. It’s just marketing to a phase where boys have cooties.
If the “throw rocks at them” bit goes too far, I’m fine with discontinuing that. But I don’t see any reason why “Boys are Smelly” needs to go away. If you want to talk about violent and prejudiced merchanse, why are we still allowing South Park, Simpsons, or Family Guy merchandise? All of those are violent and rather crude cartoons; why is “Boys are Smelly” any different? Honestly, I think “Boys are Smelly” is a lot tamer than a rather nasty looking “I killed Kenny” shirt.
I first started buying “Boys Are Smelly” stuff when I broke up with my last boyfriend. He ended up being very abusive and I needed a way to laugh about it. I happened to walk into Hot Topic a week or so after I dumped him and I saw a bunch of “Boys are Smelly” stuff on the clearance rack. I ended up buying three postcards, “Boys are Smelly”, “Stupid Factory – Where Boys Are Made”, and “Never Underestimate the Stupidity of Boys in Large Groups.” I still have one of those in a frame by my computer monitor. It was just something stupid that could make me laugh about my situation, and I loved it. More than that, I needed it. That’s a common feeling for any girl at certain points in her life, and David & Goliath certainly is not the first company to capitalize on that. What about all those bumper stickers, signs, and chatchkies that are anti-male, and conversely, anti-female? Is anybody angry about those? I just saw a bumper sticker yesterday on a motorcylce that said, “If you can read this, the bitch fell off.” To me, that’s way worse than saying a boy smells, cause you know what? Boys do tend to smell sometimes. 🙂
Jan – I know, aren’t they funny!? Hehe, I actually took my cigar purse on its first outing last night, and guess where we went… A missionary farewell meeting! I thought it was great – about two hundred mormons in one room, and there I was, sitting by two missionaries, carrying my cigar box. 🙂 You really should go get one, they’re way too cute.
I have a “I Shot JR” shirt that I love to wear. Most people my age don’t remember what it’s about and I get strange stares. Every so often, someone will nod approvingly. Ah, then it’s Bliss.
Anyway, violent t-shirts and other merchandise are nothing new. It’s all a part of the Great Effort to Sell as Much of Everything to Everyone as Soon as Possible, affectionately known as GESMEESP. A big part of the success of GESMEESP is to make products as controversial as possible. This can be done by connecting the product to an existing, successful, controversial brand such as a TV show like South Park. Or Dallas.
It’s pretty harmless; it’s just a gimmick (and ya gotta have a gimmick). No one really thinks that I shot JR when I wear my tshirt. People are pretty savvy these days about gimmicks and merchandising. I don’t think that anyone who wears or sees the ‘boys are dumb’ shirts takes them seriously either. It’s just a gimmick to sell merchandise; I think most people realize that. (Personally, I think it’s a pretty stupid gimmick; why alienate half of your potential clients? They should have said ‘parents are dumb’ or something like that. All kids could get behind that. But then what do I know? Boys are wearing this stuff.)
As for the cigar purses, when I get one (and oh yes, I will get one), I shall use it ironically, the same as I do when I wear pink.
Heather,
It looks like we will be agreeing to disagree on the boys are stupid tshirts (-:
The reason I got involved in all this was because these shirts were showing up in my little sisters elementary school and these shirt were start to cause problems. Round and round it goes because it looks like boys are fighting back; showing up in schools wearing homemade shirts like this one -sigh- a lot of the girls dont see the humour
Give a girl a daily dose of PMS
Pound ’em
Mash ’em
Smash ’em
I agree with Levi, I think schools should have dress codes and they should be enforced.
I also agree with you and your concerns about the sexual messages being conveyed on girls clothing but what I can’t figure out, and I think you would agree with me when I say from the age of birth to the age of eleven or so it is the mothers who are purchasing and helping in selecting this type of clothing for their daughters. What the hell are they thinking buying this rubbish, pimping their daughters off like this?
Heather, with your writing and organization skills if you started a compaign against the manufactures of this filth they wouldn’t stand a chance. I mean the girl who took on Warner Brothers and won! (-:
Mark
I haven’t seen the boys stuff but it creeps me to see kids (and adults) wearing shirts that say “porn star” and “pimp” on them.
I’m not sure when celebrating lifestyles that generally reduce people to a life as a junky became fashionable but it’s sick.
I even recall seeing an LDS guy’s website where he referred to himself as a pimp. HELLO. Of course, it’s not worse than the LDS guy who was about to go on his mission and made a whole site of South Park’s Terence and Phillip acting out stories from the Book of Mormon. Yeah, that’s the kind of guy I want teaching my friends the gospel of love, charity, and accountability.