I have been ill in various capacities for the past eight years. I was a rather healthy child, save for a brief interruption after a bike accident when I was seven. But, at the age of eleven, I was the victim of malpractice. You can read the whole story by clicking that link, but suffice it to say, an arrogant doctor made one mistake
Okay, you’re going to hate me for this, and it’s a total cliche, but I have to say it. You see, I’ve been doing chart reviews for a month on workers’ compensation claims…people spending years and years fighting because someone caused them injury. Some had a good reason to fight. Some had no reason. They all wound up the same–broken, in one way or another. You’re doing great, so keep up the good work and don’t let the past bog you down. Release it. Let it flow. Insert your own Karmic, existential or whatever phrase here, and try not to hate me for saying it. Feel free to email me and chew me out for being insensitive. I just don’t want to see happen to you what I’ve been reading about happen to so many other people.
Hang in there! As I wrote (a novel) to you recently in an email concerning my many health issues, I know exactly what you feel like. I never cry about it, though I’d like to at times, I have a husband and child to look after and I just keep going and going and going….but YOU let it out when you feel like it is my advice to you. I am also glad to see you are receiving nice, encouraging notes from people…I recently got some horrible mean notes from someone saying I needed to appreciate things better even though I am sick…who said I didn’t? People can be so judgemental when reading a PORTION of your life you choose to share with them on your personal site, these people don’t even know me yet criticise me and make nasty comments….anyhow just hang in there and keep doing what you need to do. I understand your frustration and feelings 100%. I rarely mention my illnesses anymore on my site, for fear I will receive more wretched comments….
Pain and trauma is not something that can easily be dealt with, but through this medium you are accomplishing so much and you’re getting through so much of it in such a healthy manner, perhaps unbeknownst to you at times. What if you didn’t have the means to write about what you’re feeling, every single day, every time you take a step and you feel another jab of pain, reminding you about some jerk’s mistake from long ago? You have this medium to write at your whim, say anything at your whim, and if that means letting it all out, the exasperation, the fear, the exhaustion, then it can only get better. Just think how strong your body is, how much it’s endured! And you’ve still got your will, your stamina, and your determination intact…so much so that you can quite possibly take over the world!!
Perhaps another vacation in England would do you some good, even if it means sacrificing some ozzie rolls and root beer for a few weeks. 🙂
Keep on shining, Heather. We love watching you from afar!