It should be no surprise at this point that I consider my life to be somewhat odd. I’m nineteen now and what have I accomplished in my short little life? Oh, I launched a boycott here, I started a company there; I woke up one day and said, hey, I wanna be a television producer. The next day, off to London to win another award for something random.

Maybe that’s just it – my life is random. But how could it be that random? In fact, my life is too random to be real.

Thus was my reasoning on November 11, 2003, when I expressed my concerns that maybe – just maybe – that movie ‘The Truman Show’ wasn’t just a movie after all. Heck, I’ve even been a guest in the hometown of Truman in Seaside, Florida! That movie was a hint, a clue, a sign from beyond the silver screen that perhaps all these random, extreme, odd occurrences in my life weren’t so random after all. Someone was the man behind the curtain to whom I should pay no attention! My life had gotten so bizarre that clearly, someone had been planning it for the sake of higher television ratings. How else could you possibly explain such dramatic things always happening around sweeps week? Fleeing the country to avoid a stalker, flying to Europe to meet Count Dracula, magically getting the car of my dreams for ten days straight…

It was all just a little too suspicious. Thus was born the idea of The Heather Show. My life isn’t a life at all, it’s a TV show. I’m caught in a bubble of someone else’s design. The day to day goings on of my life have all been fabricated for the enjoyment of the masses. I’m a puppet in some sick reality TV show.

Really, it explains a lot – why I’ve never met anyone else who looks like me, why sometimes I see the same people in different airports in different cities, why I’ll occasionally see a car in an entirely different state that I swear I’ve seen in my neighborhood (you know the one – it’s old, it’s nasty, and it’s coated in very specific bumper stickers).

You may ask yourself, what about this blog? Easy. The producers just planted the idea of blogging in my head so that it could be another branch of publicity for the show. See? I’m not easily fooled, I’m on to their little game.

TV shows I watch? Movies? All the same as what’s out in the real world. Think of it as a kind of commercial break from the Heather Show the viewers are seeing.

See? I’ve got you people all figured out. I’m a pawn. Who knows, maybe some of you are pawns too and the producers have just gotten very clever about TV show cross-overs. You know, like those episodes of Law & Order where the cast from SVU will suddenly pop over to Criminal Intent to say ‘Hi!’ and swap stories. It’s like that, only no crime solving’s going on. (And as far as I know, the Heather Show doesn’t have that cool dun-dun noise.)

I’m tired of the producers having all the fun, it’s my turn to get in on the action. All of this is the reason for moving my blog from its old home at DProphet.com/meggers to its own domain of HeatherShow.com. Here, on my own special domain name, I’ll be able to provide my own version of the Heather Show, free from the influences of those darn producers who like to throw drama and unpredictability into my life. This is my show now.

— Many, many thanks to my wonderful brother Kevin for working so hard to install Moveable Type for me and make this lovely template. He took my crazy design and made it work. Yup, you know it, he’s a genius. —