Driving along I-66 today I saw quite an interesting collection of bumper stickers. Here are two of my favorites:
On Earth as it is in Texas – I just love how Texans take such pride in their heritage and all that jazz. Regardless of your opinions on Texas, you have to respect the sense of camaraderie inspired by a rich landscape and friendly people. The instant you tell another Texan that you have Texan blood, it’s like you’re family. And hey, they come up with great bumper stickers. 🙂
What Would Jesus Bomb? – I’m assuming this bumper sticker is trying to say that Christians should be anti-war. If that VW driver wants to be anti-war, more power to him, but I really had to giggle at his choice of bumper stickers. Has he even read the Bible? Hmm, so, what would Jesus bomb? Ever heard of Sodom and Gomorrah? Jerusalem sure got wiped out a lot. What about Egypt and its many plagues? Oh yeah, and don’t forget that whole flood with the one ark thing. What was that line… oh yes, “Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.” Tee hee.
Like I said, nothing wrong if the dude wants to be anti-war, but you have to admit, that reference sure was funny. Last I checked, Jesus wasn’t Mahatma Gandhi.
In other news, I was on I-66 today because I went to see my doctor. You know, I think I can mark this as the first time I’ve ever received orders from a doctor to buy a bunny. Because I’ve been having ridiculously bad nightmares ever since the stalker incident in March, she said I should get some kind of animal to help calm me down. Her first idea was a cat, but my Mom’s allergic, so we settled on a bunny.
The only problem is, she says I need something to cuddle with while I sleep, hence the cat. Despite their overwhelming cuteness, it’s kinda hard to cuddle long-term with bunnies. So I’ve decided, instead of a cat or a rabbit, I just need a pet man. They’re much easier to toilet-train, they won’t gnaw on the computer cords, and hopefully they’re a tad less prone to shedding all over my furniture. Plus, it’s a whole heckuva lot harder to train a bunny to take me out to dinner and buy me pretty things.
Before my brothers freak out, yes, I realize I’d have to marry my pet man before I could cuddle with him at night. But I could handle that, if he’d go through obedience training and learn not to soil the carpet. Oh, yes, and did I mention buy me pretty things?
Alas, without a pet man, I may have to settle for a mouse, or a gerbil… Neither of which I’m very happy about. Maybe I’ll just procrastinate on that prescription until I can find a pet store that sells men. Well, I’m off to call PetSmart… 🙂
Meggers Meggers Meggers.
Have you ever heard of a cockapoo?
It is half cocker spaniel, half poodle, she weights about 13 lbs, sleeps all day but she ALWAYS just wants to cuddle. She whines unless I let her up on my lap for her to sleep. AND, to top it all off, cockapoos are so smart it took her about four days to be totally trained. 🙂
Only thing is, most cockapoos don’t look like mine at all – I think Piper is the runt of the litter.
Wait – are you suggesting that you could cuddle with a mouse or gerbil all night? I would be worried about the squish factor.
call a taxidermist?
that might cause more nightmares i suppose.
there is always the underground ferret ring.
But.. but.. all that violent stuff was BEFORE jesus. When jesus came it was supposed to be the end of that violent period and the beggining of peace. Thats why he’s called The Prince of Peace. Jesus wouldn’t bomb anybody, thats more something the old testemant God would do. He decided to not be vengeful-crazy like that anymore, and so he sent down the J-man (hehe) to turn over a new leaf.
I realize I’m way late to respond to your comment lindsay, but here’s what Revelation (19:11-21) has to say about the next time Jesus comes to visit…
“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Out of his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. ‘He will rule them with an iron scepter.’ He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.”
Uh-oh. That sounds a lot like Jesus. And it even says he “makes war”. But I digress. On with the text…
“And I saw an angel standing in the sun, who cried in a loud voice to all the birds flying in midair, ‘Come, gather together for the great supper of God, so that you may eat the flesh of kings, generals, and mighty men, of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all people, free and slave, small and great.’ Then I saw the beast and the kings of the earth and their armies gathered together to make war against the rider on the horse and his army. But the beast was captured, and with him the false prophet who had performed the miraculous signs on his behalf. With these signs he had deluded those who had received the mark of the beast and worshiped his image. The two of them were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur. The rest of them were killed with the sword that came out of the mouth of the rider on the horse, and all the birds gorged themselves on their flesh.”
You are right, he will bring peace, but peace is sometimes best accomplished with the sword.