For years I’ve been tripping over myself to rebut any accusation that I’m a high maintenance woman. Sure, my year’s supply of shampoo may cost $75, I do have a deeply passionate love for filet mignon, my underwear may cost $60 a piece, and yeah, so I have a thing for expensive cars, but I always refused to be classified as “high maintenance” because I never expected anyone to buy me those things. Rather, I expected to have to earn them myself, and I was happy with that. Thus, the maintenance rested entirely on myself and no one else, making me rather low maintenance in a relationship setting.

    But now, I’m not so sure I can rest on that rationalization, for I have acquired yet another horribly girly and ridiculously expensive habit. Like I needed another one, but there you go.

    Why didn’t anyone tell me that Nordstrom gives out free samples of perfume? Not just any perfume, not just those cheap little eau de toilette bottles they hand out in paper packages at other department stores, ooh no, not my Nordstrom. All you have to do is point at a bottle, no matter how expensive, and say, “I want to try that one!” Then a nice, lovely perfume lady will fill up a glass vial for you, and ta da, you have several weeks worth of perfume for free! And they’ll even give you more than one! Just today, I went in there to get a travel perfume atomizer, and they gave me three different vials – both Vera Wang frangrances, and something called Lolita Lempicka.

    Guess what that brings my grand total of tester vials up to. Go on, guess. Thirty-five! And I’ve only been at this for a week! And they were allllll free!

    Granted, I didn’t get all of these at Nordstrom. I did get a few samples at other department stores, but they’re your typical designer sample bottles that come in the little paper packages. Surprisingly, though, most of them are actually eau de parfum rather than that cheap toilette stuff. However, the vast majority of them are in delightful little Nordstrom vials and they’re filled with some ridiculously expensive perfume.

    I love this, it’s like a whole new branch of the Tiffany’s game. Sure, it means I’m getting used to yet another realm of expensive excess, but it’s fun! And for the time being, it doesn’t cost me a cent. Although, I am finding myself addicted to Vera Wang Sheer Veil, which is my favorite by a mile. That may just have to go on my Christmas list because I’m sure I can’t keep this game up forever.

    This perfume game is bringing me close to freely admitting my high maintenance nature. Closer, yes, but I’m still not quite ready to come right out and say it. I will however concede my current rationalization, but only to replace it with a new one which was developed by my BMW bosom buddy, Rob. According to Rob, we can look at it this way – which would a man rather have? A dependable, predictable, and yet thoroughly boring Ford Taurus, or a passionate, exhilarating, Ferrari Enzo? Granted, the Ferrari takes a bit more care, but you’ll soon realize its superiority as you rev the engine and leave the Taurus in the dust.

    I like Rob’s line of reasoning. I’m not high maintenance, I’m a Ferrari. And dang, do I smell good. 🙂