I’m leaving my hotel in Pittsburgh tomorrow and, even though it’s going to hurt, driving 4 hours home to Virginia. I wasn’t supposed to go until next week, but I have to. Why? Well this should tell you something about just how royally sucky everything was, as mentioned in my previous post. I have to go home early in order to get pain medication from my doctor, I have to find another surgeon who will keep his promises, who operates at a hospital that doesn’t try to kill their patients, and to find an attorney, so I can find out if I can sue the bastards. Because I want someone’s head on a platter, damn it. I went out of my way to come here to Pittsburgh because they were supposedly the best, because they’d supposedly done this before, and what did I get? Botched plans, broken promises, and nurses so inept they deny pain medication, call patients “babies” and “whimps” just for needing medication at all, then try to kill them by pumping air into their IVs. Yeah, and that isn’t even the half of it. It’s just the tip of sucky iceberg. I was serious when I said it sucked, I just couldn’t get it out in words before. Even now this is all I can say, cause I’m infuriated, exhausted, scared, in a hell of a lot of pain, and I’m about to cry.
Kudos to whoever answered my cries in the last post – I noticed something disappeared off my Amazon Wish List, which makes me happy. A remarkable feat considering, and it’s all because of you. You know who you are. I don’t yet, but I love you anyway.
I hate that I got shafted again. Ten years later, almost to the day, and here I am again, in unspeakable pain because of empty promises, heartless liars, and inept medical personnel. It hurts more now, because I was done. When the toe was finally off, I heard so many times, now the long hard day is over and you’ll be stronger for it. No, I’m not stronger, whatever gave them that idea? Now I’m angry, I’m exhausted, and I can’t stand the idea of another year of this. And I’m so disappointed. Why can’t people just do their damn jobs? And why do I always have to take the fall for it? It’s harder now and I don’t know how much more I can take. People should just stop telling people that it’ll be worth it in the end, because you’ll be stronger for it, because in so many ways it’s just not true. In part because it never seems to end.
Shit, I wasn’t supposed to cry. I need a hug and a teddy bear and… something, I don’t know.
Dear Heather. I can only begin to imagine the pain and frustration you’re going through. It’s tough, a lot tougher than anyone should ever have to experience but despite all the hardship, you’re finding a voice for your frustration and choosing to share it with us. I know that those of us who frequent your site can’t always lift the pain and frustration from your shoulders… but know that we’re all here… all your friends and loved ones…. our shoulders stand ready if you need a place to cry… our arms are open for when you need a hug… and we have smiles ready to greet you when you need cheering. We’re with you!
I can echo Jay’s eloquent comments. We are not faceless people, but genuine people with genuine feelings and compassion. Each time you stare at your screen, please imagine that you are staring in the eyes of a true friend. We are by your side, and if called upon, will do anything it takes to make this tough time a bit easier.
Heather, hope the pain passes quickly. I assume the surgery actually happened, and was successful in at least removing the tumors…? I hope so anyway. In my prayers FWIW…
Heather,
I’m Mike Rundle’s mother. Please know that long distance hugs are coming your way from upstate NY…
Cheryl Rundle
Aside from looking for a lawyer, ya might also want to contact the AMA and the Pennsylvania Attorney General’s office about your experience. The last I knew, denying people pain medication when they’re truly and in dire need of it is not only neglectful, but is more likely also criminal.