In the golden age of Hollywood, studio executives used to name new actors after established celebrities. For instance, Cary Grant was named in honor of Gary Cooper – you know, the incredibly obvious inversion of their initials.

    So now that Heath Ledger is famous, I want to be named after him. One day, when I’m a Hollywood big shot, I shall be known as Snickers Flowchart. And the next generation after I’m famous, Caramello Rolodex. She’ll be Italian.

    Discuss amongst yourselves, when it’s safely after midnight.