Earlier today my Mother and I decided to get out of the house and head to our local Nordstrom, for today was the day of the long-awaited Fragrance Fair. As most of you know, I’ve been collecting perfume lately as a means of finding happy distractions. I’d pretty much cemented my collection, beyond content with my piece of extravagence. My Mom said we’d just go for the fun of it, see what kind of samples we could get, and come home. But then we got there, and I found a gift set on sale of a perfume that I’ve been wanting for a while…

    I was going to be good, though. I put it back down. But then I remembered that I had a Nordstrom gift card burning a hole in my wallet! I had gotten a present not long ago and had to take it back for various reasons, and it was exactly the amount I needed for the perfume. I was quite pleased, as it meant that not only would I get the perfume I’d been wanting, but a bunch of freebies thanks to the Fragrance Fair. For my purchase, I got my eau de parfum and lotion of “Be Delicious” (I smell like sweet apples, mmm), along with a million and one free samples. But more importantly than that, I got a small bottle of pure parfum and matching lotion of both Cynthia Rowley and Nanette Lapore, dozens of small sample bottles of various eau de parfums, and an incredibly tacky bag which just happens to be the size I needed to take all of my stuff to the spa for my physical therapy every week. It may be tacky, but hey, it was free and it’s functional! Hoorah! And all of that for the price of less than one bottle of eau de parfum. I’m happy, and I smell pretty! What could be better than that?

    I’ll tell you what could be better than that – I finished my 15 second clip! I thought I’d finished it last night, but after a week of confidence and excitement, when I completed it last night, I was suddenly hit with an extreme case of nervousness. I started thinking that it was a piece of crap, that I’d wasted Jay’s time and my parents’ money, that it didn’t have a shot in heck of it even making the finals. I was overwhelmed with doubt and I hated it. I reluctantly showed it to my family and a few friends; even though they said they liked it, they found lots of things wrong with it. And even though it was hard to stomach along with my self doubt, I took what they had to say and slowly processed it.

    Thanks to their kind criticism, I decided to redo what ultimately was the entire problem – the freaking voice over. I recorded the original voice over last night, and after sixty tries I thought it just wasn’t going to get any better. I hated the way my voice came out in the recording – it sounded nothing like what I hear in my own head, and I just couldn’t believe I sounded that terrible. But with my friend Andrew encouraging me, I tried it just one more time. I kept his advice in mind to pick up the tone, sound less scripted, and not end on a down note. Twelve takes later and my confidence was back. I wasn’t exactly in love with my voice by any means, but at least I didn’t sound dreadful. I sliced the audio file up, mixed it with the foley again, and applied it to the video. Surprise, surprise, it was SO much better! Andrew was right, Sujit was right, everyone was right and thankfully it all worked out. My confidence is back and while I know I’m up against some stiff competition, i feel like I have a decent shot now. Better yet, I feel like I’ve done the best job I could have done; better even, thanks to the help of Jay and my kindly reviewers.

    Despite the lapse in my confidence, this past week has been great fun. Jay’s been a dream to work with – I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better friend right now. I’m finding myself wishing that the deadline were farther off in the distance so that we could perhaps film another video or two. The rules allow for multiple submissions, just so long as they aren’t the same story. But I only found out about the contest last week, and the deadline is the 26th, this upcoming Wednesday. Thankfully the idea for the first video came fully-formed into my mind, which made filming really easy. But now, despite my desire to make another one, I haven’t a clue what story to tell or how to tell it.

    I’m hoping inspiration will strike again and I’m doing all I can to encourage it. As I’m writing this I’m watching one of my favorite movies in the background – Agnieszka Holland’s 1993 version of ‘The Secret Garden.’ It’s so exquisitely filmed that whenever I watch it I can’t help but feel spurred on to create something at least half as beautiful. It seems every time I watch it, another slew of images race through my mind. But I’ve never really considered actually filming them before. I’ve used the inspiration for various still photographic experiments over the years, but never video. I hadn’t really thought of it as an option. But seeing how beautifully my Minolta SLR has filmed the video and now that I have the Mac Mini, it seems possible. If only the timing would allow it, and if only my brain could come up with a story I could tell in 15 seconds…

    I suppose the rest of my story ideas and the subsequent inspiration from ‘The Secret Garden’ will have to wait until the contest is over and I can just create movies for the fun of it. Then I’ll have the joy of posting them here as soon as they’re finished and letting you all see them. I wish I could post the 15 second film now, I want to hear what everyone thinks about it. But sadly, that has to wait. As will the stories of filming have to wait so that I don’t give anything away. 🙂

    Now I get to anxiously await the announcements of who has been lucky enough to make it to the semi-finals (if I make it past that stage, I get an iPod!) Then after that, biting my nails until I find out whether or not I’ve won the grand prize – the $15,000 and the chance to meet some great directors and filmmakers at the Tribeca Film Festival. Eeee! Wish me luck! This could mean wonders for me and my various projects. 🙂 Everybody now! One, two, three, Eeeeeeeeeeeee! Hehe. Happiness is good.